the amazing sotong

Despair.

2011-11-07T18:44:00.000-08:00

Don't we all feel that way sometimes. The tree is so high up, the dress is too heavy to climb, and we can do nothing but despair.

You.

2011-11-07T18:33:00.000-08:00

You should just admit that. I mean, seriously? Everyone knows you're like that. So, what's the point of hiding? Every single thing, you have to create a grand competition for it. In the end, when you emerge loser, you blame the world. For your information my dear sweetheart, you started it.
I've always wondered how you could twist the whole world to think that it revolves around you. Honestly, that never happened. Sorry to burst your bubble, but it was a NEVER. Get that inside that thick skull of yours.
So what if you're special? Oh gods, it's not even the correct definition of 'special' that you have. Friend, being special is a good thing. Your flaws are not SPECIAL. They are just...sad. Because you think they're special, you don't change them. Darling, if you don't change, you're going to die alone.
I mean it.
I'm not being obnoxious, or hypocritical, or mean, or bitchy.
Oh, now now, child, don't point that finger at me. We did try changing you. Did it work? I DON'T THINK SO.
Geez, let me see why; OH I GOT IT: you didn't listen to us. We tried, you said we were too late. Fine, be that way. Continue living the delusion you refuse to let go.
Good luck surviving the world with no friends.
Because I'm definitely not one of yours.

The world.

2011-07-30T19:47:00.000-07:00

I promise, I will start writing on my blog again:)

Lately, I have been completely fascinated by pictures! I love taking pictures with my phone(even though the resolution is not perfect) and it gives me this satisfaction to watch it appear on facebook:) My dream is that one day, I'm going to buy my own camera and use it all day long. Sadly, this dream will have to fall behind saving up for my braces, so I'll never get the camera. But anyway....

This was one of my favourites:) It's actually the floor of Vivo, but it looks like stars, right? It's so pretty!:D

This was taken from my friend's house! They're actually pretty lights, but it wasn't plugged in, so I just took the picture:)

Now, this one came about when I was chopping garlic I think:) Aren't the colours pretty? Well, it's food, but still!:D

Now, this is the one I absolutely love. OMG ISN'T IT PRETTY? it's near my house. :)

All these photos let me believe that actually, there are beautiful things in the world. It all depends on whether we can look at it. I took these photos when I wasn't wearing my spectacles. I was half blind, yet I still found all these:)

This is what convinces me that the world isn't that bad after all:)

XOXO,
Lim Shan:)

letters

2011-06-22T02:22:00.000-07:00

Dear Life,

I'm a girl that craves security. That part I do admit. But I'm also a girl who loves freedom, who loves the sunshine. I like crowded places because I'm afraid of being alone. I love fairytales because I want to believe that there is always a happy ending. I think a lot, but I don't focus on all my thoughts all the time. I over-analyze, but I don't hold on to old grudges and faults. I remember my embarrasing acts, because I'm afraid to repeat them. I'm afraid to fall in love now, because of you. I don't want to meet another guy who messes up my life to this extent, and over-reads everything I say. It is one thing to over-analyze, and another to remember. Trust me, whatever analysis I made on you, I have forgotten about it. I don't think that life is so hard to live. I don't believe in staying up late because it's not healthy, and I love sunshine. I'd rather wake up early, than sleep late, unless I'm studying. I like my life to be in order, and I get mad when someone messes up that order. When I say order, I mean the way I live, the way I walk, the way I stick to timings. I detest being late, but I don't like being early too because I don't like being alone. My memories stick to songs and my walking patterns. If you mess them up, I'll go crazy. I like to write about my life, as a sort of rant. Don't get mad at me for writing a poem about you because HONESTLY, I need to live somehow. You can't expect me to suffer in utter silence because writing is the way I express myself. If you still don't understand that, you don't know me. Writing is my only way of showing my feelings. If you get mad or sad at me, there is nothing I can do. I can't change, neither can I comfort you because that is the way I feel. See? That's why I'm writing on this blog: because it's the last place I can rant without you seeing. Don't you feel annoyed when someone is constantly assuming everything about you? You were practically dictating my life out in sentences. Why am I pissed? Because you got it all wrong. ALL. you read me wrongly. I don't like getting angry, but I'm so full of angst right now. I love singing, and though I completely forget my pitch, that's the way I am. If you can't accept that, then too bad. I know I can't sing. You don't need to keep reminding me. I love who I am, where I'm from, the way I dress, the way I live my life. I love yellow light because white light is too harsh, and I love comfy things. I love the sun, I can't stop loving it, and I love home-cooked food. I don't think that loud music, crazy lifestyles, or cussing continuosly can enable you to lead your life better because you're just wasting it away. The simplest thing I love to do is to sleep, because I love to dream. So, stop taking those dreams away from me. Stop trying to kill the last hope I have for life. I'll never stop hoping. Never. I love festivals because you get to spend them with your families, and I cry when I read chinese stories. I'm a person who needs to be linked to real living people. That's why I suck in Chemistry, and do way better in Biology. I'm afraid of speaking out my thoughts because I'm afraid of being wrong. I never liked to stand out in my physical aspects, because if I do, it'll mean that I'm doing something wrong. I love to dance, and yes, I'm not a great dancer, but I still love to. I'm stuck in a crazy situation half the time, but I choose to ignore that fact because if I acknowledge it, it'll consume me. Sometimes, life isn't about constantly pushing yourself forward. You need to rest too. So, stop telling me what I should do, because I'll find those out for myself. And I said it once, I'll say it again. Writing is the only way I can express myself. If you don't like it, then you don't know me.

XOXO,
me. the girl who still hopes.

what are you talking about?

2011-06-22T02:06:00.001-07:00

I MISSED THIS BLOG:)

Yesterday was my birthday and MAN, i had a blast:) it was great to just spend a peaceful day at home. Peace...that is something we all want, yet we willingly trade off for many 'thrilling' stuff, isn't it?

We go for all sorts of different entertainment, different 'fun' stuff but in the end, we complain we had no time to do this, no time to do that...yadda yadda, we're all guilty of that. it's a little sad sometimes. Like life is nothing but living in fake enthusiasm. Literally.

Just like love. Infatuation. Whatever you want to believe in. Liking some guy despite him having a poster that says, "I'LL BREAK YOUR HEART." on his head, falling in love with a jerk...we try to make ourselves feel better by saying things like, "Oh, what is life without risk" but honestly, life that way...i'd rather not have it.

Peace is something I'm always finding. It's so evasive, I don't know where it disappears off to sometimes. It gets tiring when all you're ever thinking about is stress, boys, trival stuff that don't really matter in the end.

I don't know about you, but I'm guessing we all have something in us that keeps us hopeful. All of us dreams of being a special someone that can change the world, as if we would have some special magical occurance that gets us noticed. We tend to dream so often, but can we take up the consequences of living reality?

I ain't making any sense, right? I'm so tired of everything, I guess I lost my sanity and logic too.

What am I tired of?
I'm tired of ridiculous friendship stuff that require me to do oh so many things. Friendship should be light, easy, like gentle colours. There is no complication in it unless you make it to be so, and there is no trouble in it unless you make it so.

I'm a girl who loves security, but I don't harp on those dark issues because what is life if you keep worrying? Will you find peace if you worry all the time? I love life because I want to live it the way I want to. You don't understand me at all, if you can't understand the fact that I'm never bothered by these stuff.

Gosh, i hate it when it comes to this stage.

its the feeling(:

2011-05-07T21:03:00.000-07:00

Its not to fame, but the feeling. I had just watched the GE yesterday, and I admit, it was kinda intense. Many of my friends actually stayed up to watch the elections, which is interesting because nowadays, everyone is saying that the youngsters don't know anything but DUDE, we do. We actually read the paper and watch the telly and go to rallies, because we know that this is important. This is why social studies is very important to our country. Anyway, as I stayed up to watch the elections last night, the feeling was...amazing. Even though I didn't vote, I actually could feel and anticipate and share what I thought with my friends. As I watched the parties make their victory speeches, or them thanking the people for all their support, I saw that sometimes, the victory isn't everything.
Now, what has got to do with my first sentence? Hahah, oh man, I miss blogging so much! I can actually write what I want to write here, and not just a story on wattpad. Yep, it's about wattpad. Its this website where you go to write your stories for people to see. There are those who write really well, and their stories get loads of votes and comments. Then there are those who don't write as well, and their stories become invisible. It can get a little depressing after a while, because you think that your story sucks, and you lose the love for writing.
I had felt that way for awhile, until a friend told me over facebook that they were reading my story. They just didn't have a wattpad account so they couldn't comment or vote. Then, i realized, hey girl, do you write for others, or for yourself? Obviously, it would be for myself.
I've seen writers saying that 'if the votes get to 500, i will upload another chapter for you!" and I would think, doesn't that make writing a popularity contest, more than writing from your heart itself? I would never write that in my chapter, because it seems as if the duty for you to write your own story becomes our responsibility. Like the GE, even if you win or lose, you have managed to garner the support of the people in one way, or another. People have supported you, and that's the main point. They had believed that you could do it, and that's what's important.
So, if there is anyone who is still reading my blog(which i think no one is, but ANYWAY), and you've read my story online, I thank you for it. It's encouraging to see so many reads and even if no one reads my story, I'll still write, because I write to share what I dreamed of, with everyone.

Yay!

peace

2011-04-22T20:58:00.000-07:00

Peace.

The hardest thing to find in this century, because so many things unsettle peace. But I think the most rare and most prized peace that is seldom found, is peace within yourself.

Peace.

I am not a peaceful person. My mind creates emotions and thoughts I don't possess myself 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, all the time. I'm constantly in this roller coaster ride because I'm getting all the emotions display. The gift of people thinking, I say, is not a nice gift sometimes. It affects the person itself because she is thinking the thoughts of others.

Peace.

My world is divided into three types of gifts. There are people with the gift of people-speaking, the gift of people-feeling and the gift of people-thinking. These three are interchangable, and a person can have more than one gift.

Peace.

The people with the gift of people-speaking are those who have the greatest amount of influence with their words. Their words itself can change your thoughts, but they only last when the person is saying them at that present time. After you leave that person, their gift wears off. These people are charismatic, and they usually hold high positions in life because they have the words to convince people. But these people are also the ones with enemies, because the words they utter can never please everyone in total. Plus, once the person finds out that her words are dangerous, they will avoid her.

Peace.

The people with the gift of people-feeling are those who can influence the feelings of those around them. They need not speak, but their very presence affects the thinking process of those around them. Their words can hurt someone, and they may not understand everyone, but all they need to do is to be beside you and you naturally want to forgive and forget. Depending on their characters, they can influence those around them to feel a particular way. But usually, they are not aware of their gift, and what it can do. These people, if aware, can go a long way in life and have happy relationships.

Peace.

The people with the gift of people-thinking are those who are hyperaware of the thoughts of the people around them. They rarely possess good speaking skills because they have the gift to analyze the thoughts of others and hence, take a longer time to craft their responses. They find it hard to interact most of the time because they do not know how to deal with people with multiple traits that are not opaque. They think a lot, and they know a lot. They see things in people, tiny things that normal people miss because its too small, but they see it anyway, because it is really obvious. They rely on their minds and they have the capacity to cope with life because they have seen a lot, in a small period of time.

Peace.

The most dangerous of people are those that possess the gift of all three. Once they have the gift of people-thinking, they are hyperaware of the other gifts that they carry. They can use their words to suit your feelings, because they know what kind of feelings to induce, and their presence erases any doubt, because they have the gift of people-feeling. One character of history stands out with all three, has created a World War. His name is Hitler. Look closely, he possess all three.

Peace.

Few people in life possess all three. It is of the greatest gifts, and the most dangerous. Yet, there are people who do possess the gifts, but to the smallest extent. Their gifts are wrong, because the gifts are given in the other way. There are some I know who have the gift of people-feeling, but the feeling they give to other people is one of immense dislike. Their very presence creates that, and they are unaware. There are people with the gift of people-speaking, who have the ability to use words that cut people into shreds.

Peace.

And so, if people know how to harness their gifts, they can find peace. They can use their gifts for peace. The peace you get from them is one of when you enter a cathedral, where you feel the stone slabs on the floor and the sunlight that streams through the stained glass on the windows. It is the feeling I get when I see the cross in front of me, wooden and brown. It is the feeling I smell when the wind blows past me, smelling of flowers and trees. It is the feeling I get when I see the glow of the pavement when it just rained, reflected by the street lights.

Peace.

It is unhindered by any forms of doubts and love. They don't feel any terrible outcomes and hindrances of love that is jealousy, hate, hurt and doubt. And it is something I think I'm starting to learn today.

Peace.

I think I have the gift of people-thinking. That is why I am creating this. What do you think your gift is?

Peace.

Love.

2011-04-21T20:15:00.000-07:00

Love, is such a magical thing, don't you agree? You never know when it hits you, and you never know when it dumps you. You never know when it might become the best thing you could ever dream of, and you'll never know what it's trying to hint. It drops subtle underlying meanings, creates tension and misunderstandings, ruin friendships, creates the most magical experience of your life, and yes, this is love.

I thought I had love sorted out for the last four months. Like, really sorted out that I know it from head to toe, every habit of it, every hair on its head but I guess I forgot that cupid is blind. He can shoot you once, take out the arrow, shoot you again, take it out, and shoot you AGAIN, because he is just so blind, that he didn't realize that he shot you before.

Go figure.

Anyway, when I said that I thought that I had love sorted out, it kinda means that I'm in a total mess now.

Like total...total...total...

You get my point.

Anyway, I just thought that the characteristics and side effects of infatuation needs to be written down, so you can see how dangerous it is. (this is kind of a bid to make myself distracted and better. as usual:))

When you're infatuated:

1. You go high when you see him.
2. You get jitters from talking to him.
3. You freak out when he doesn't reply your message.
4. You get terrible mood swings, depending on him.
5. You daydream all the time.
6. You want fate to coincide your meetings so you can convince yourself that he's the one.
7. You dress up for him.
8. You try to be perfect for him.
9. You try to make him laugh.
10. You try to make him fall for you.
11. You do those quizzes in the magazines to see if he fits the description.
12. You automatically dislike every girl that he talks to.
13. You can talk forever about him.
14. You smile when you think of him.
15. You spend all day thinking how awesome he is.
16. You'll go crazy no matter what he does.

When you're in love:
1. You know when to pull back so he won't get hurt.
2. You put him before yourself.
3. You understand why he isn't replying you instantly.
4. You make an attempt to like the girls he's talking to all the time.
5. You don't want to hurt him, ever.
6. You may feel like total crap, but you smile to make him smile.
7. You'll do anything for him.
8. You love the way he laughs.
9. You remember all his jokes, his words.
10. No matter how much you tell yourself, you still love him in the end.

Yep. Those are the signs that you're totally infatuated, or in love. Guess which one I fall under?

None.

Why?

Because I fall under the 'crazy' subheading.

What does it comprise of?

Both.

History repeats itself.

2011-04-21T20:00:00.000-07:00

What happens when your life starts to look like a total terrible drama gone wrong, or some bad fairytale that is supposed to be perfect, but had lost its magical-ness? What happens when you start to feel weary at the cycle your mind is putting you through at ALL the crazy things its thinking of, when you know clearly well that your mind is deluding you but in the end, you still think of it? What happens, when you try so hard to push this crazy thought of yours out of your mind for the past four months but in the end, you realized that you had failed, and that it was there all along? What happens, when you find out that you're still in love with the boy whom you shouldn't have known?

This, is what happens.

HISTORY REPEATS ITSELF

I feel like a little girl sometimes,
Promising not to eat candy, especially the ones that are lime.
Because momma says that it is not good for health,
And she hides the jar some place far away in stealth.

I keep my promise for about three days,
Until my vision becomes blur and full of haze.
I try and try to control myself,
But I failed miserably, without much help.

Just like a little girl, I would succumb,
To the tasty candy and chocolate crumbs.
Except for my case, it's worse,
It is the boy with eloquent words and the perfect verse.

I promised not to fall in love with this boy,
Because he whacks up my brain and sends it into a toil.
Ah, I thought I had myself convinced,
That I was so over him since.

But one look at him and I lose it completely,
My focus, my thought, my sanity.
I get the adrenaline rush and the jealous fit,
The urge to rush of the edge of a perilous cliff.

Well, it's hard for me to put you behind babe.
But kudos to you, you've made me insane.
You drive me crazy on one side,
The the other, giddy with the risk of flight.

Because I am just so in love with you,
there, I admit, as I really do.
But I have to be cautious, for my health,
One slip, and history repeats itself.

Am I right?

fashion, mind games, and life philosophy

2011-04-08T18:38:00.000-07:00

I think that I'm neglecting the very thing that started me writing, and that so isn't right so....okay, everytime I come online, and I have, have, HAVE to write something. And I think that this writing thing is good for my mental health too so...YEAH.

So, even though no one would be reading this now, I'll still be writing:)

Lately, I realized that fashion has it stereotypes too. Like, there is high class fashion, and then the low class fashion...and honestly, it's so subjective and super materialistic, it makes the person who thinks that way seem...shallow? I'm not sure, but I know that this part made me lose sight of who I am for a while.

Oh, I didn't tell you this? I'm so over guys, and shopping took over that spot in my life so yeah, it plays a BIG part:)

Anyway, yeah. I realized that there is subjective stereotyping to the places where we buy our clothes, and for a moment, I got into that mindset until my mom told me, "We are the ones showing the clothes. The clothes don't show us."

And then it hit me, clothes...no matter where you buy them from, they are still clothes. Sure, there is a huge distinction of whether you buy clothes that flatter you or not, but I don't think that the place where you buy your clothes matter a lot. That's because as long as it looks good on you, that's all that really matters doesn't it?

I buy my clothes from This Fashion, Bugis Street, and hawker centres. I've only stepped into Forever 21 twice in my life, and I was telling myself, hey, let's do this experiment. Let me try to be 'high-class' now, and try to shop there.

Guess what?

I hated the experience.

The clothes are cool and really really pretty, but they didn't suit me. It was too expensive, and I wouldn't feel comfortable wearing them. It just wasn't so fun.

Then, I stepped into Bugis Street, and I kinda realized that clothes...are just clothes. You go to the places where you love to shop, and make yourself happy. That's what shopping is, and if you're making yourself miserable just to shop at a atas shop...that's not shopping:) And what you say about other shopping places highlight who you are too.

Let's get this straight: Compare the people who shop at only high-class fashion shops, and the people who shop everywhere.

Who would be the smarter one?

Okay...because I haven't written for AGES, I've LOADS TO TELL YOU!:)

So basically, relationships aren't that complicated, nor that easy either. I only realized how much it balanced on this thin strand of hair, and it's hard to keep something you treasure a lot. How do you prevent yourself from overstepping that line too often, and ruining everything you worked for?

How do you make sure that you're not hurting anyone?

The easiest solution here, would be to play mind games.

But to tell you the truth, the other party would be in total misery.

Why?

Mind games are made in such a way that you know what the other party is thinking, yet they can never be sure with what you're thinking. And you're left wondering if you're guessing the other party's emotions right, or are you killing the person..or...

It's just this terrible feeling for that party because...it just sucks. Really badly. She doesn't know what to do, or she's just plain tired of it. She can get used to it, but that doesn't mean she's used to the above mentioned feelings. I mean, who likes being in misery?

No one.

My point.

So please, stop playing mind games. It is really exhausting and tiring for the poor girl, and she is as stressed enough as it is already. Thank you.

OH, I'm not done! I just learned this huge lesson, and that is we are what we are. We shouldn't change ourselves because it will never work. Just like shopping, you got to be confident and love who you are...and those people are the people who truly the winners in life. I mean, your life is for yourself. Who do you live for?
So it doesn't matter if people slamm your fashions sense, snap at your actions, disagree with your lifestyle...as long as you know that what you're doing is right, you're on the right track. Because in those people, what they're feeling is either jealously, or unhappiness at your happiness.

Oh, and people aren't that simple. No one who is two dimensional figure, with a good and bad differentiation. A bimbo is never just a bimbo. She can be a great leader with a big heart and a smart head. It may be just an act, or just a cover up. A sweet little girl may be a gossip girl who is really into fashion and relationships. But you can't tell, because she's a sweet little girl. Don't ever judge people based on their outer appearence and HOW they carry themselves in front of you. There is more to that person that you think you know.

You can never know who that person really is.

Unless you're that person herself. So don't assume you can read her perfectly.

You never will.

mean.

2011-03-16T03:34:00.000-07:00

(Get the hidden meaning which isn't hidden at all.)

MEAN: BY TAYLOR SWIFT.

YOU, WITH YOUR WORDS LIKE KNIVES AND SWORDS AND WEAPONS THAT YOU USE AGAINST ME,
YOU, HAVE KNOCKED ME OFF MY FEET AGAIN, GOT ME FEELIN' LIKE I'M NOTHING.

Honestly, when will you ever learn? When will you see that speaking what you think all the time with no care and sensitivity will kill you someday? But oh, no, you just have to get better than me. You can't stand lagging behind and me and you have to absolutely bring me down to make yourself feel better.

YOU, WITH YOUR VOICE LIKE NAILS ON A CHALKBOARD CALLIN' ME OUT WHEN I'M WOUNDED,
YOU, PICKING ON THE WEAKER MEN.

There is a reason why they teach us about oral presentation in school. The main point is to be able to talk and speak without instigating anyone to slap your face. It's not just your words that can prick. It's the tone, the emphasis, EVERYTHING IN FACT, if you didn't realize. Even the volume. And sure, she might not be pissed at you, but that does not give you the right to keep on bullying her because HELLO, she has a life and she doesn't need you butting in all the time.

YOU CAN TAKE ME DOWN, WITH JUST ONE SINGLE BLOW,
BUT YOU DON'T KNOW, WHAT YOU DON'T KNOW..

Honestly, I have bore the brunt of your insults long long LONG enough to get pissed at someone who says that I don't have any patience. Yeah.

SOME DAY, I'LL BE LIVING IN A BIG OLE CITY,
AND ALL YOU'RE EVER GONNA BE IS MEAN.
SOME DAY, I'LL BE BIG ENOUGH THAT YOU CAN'T HIT ME,
AND ALL YOU'RE EVER GONNA BE IS MEAN.

Well, technically, it's not some day anymore, its today for me. I guess I finally found a way to make sure you don't mess up my life.

WHY YOU GOTTA BE SO MEAN?

I tried to tell you. We all did. But nothing we say ever EVER goes in. We ask why, but you give us no reply. Why? OH, because you're not listening to us.

YOU, WITH YOUR SWITCHING SIDES AND YOUR WALK-BY LIES AND YOUR HUMILIATION,
YOU, HAVE POINTED OUT MY FLAWS AGAIN AS IF I DON'T ALREADY SEE THEM.

I am seriously tired of your indecisiveness and your incapability to make your own decisions because you're just too lazy to expend the help of your dead brain cells and truthfully, I've had enough of you picking on me all the time. Trying to embarrass me ain't working because it's lame. And it's lame because your language has a problem. And YES, I know I suck at all the things that you're good at. You don't have to remind me ALL THE TIME, because unlike you, I do know my limits.

I WALK WITH MY HEAD DOWN TRYIN BLOCK YOU OUT COS' I'LL NEVER IMPRESS YOU,
I, JUST WANNA FEEL OKAY AGAIN.

This is the standard behaviour of everyone whom you insult. They tune you out because they're tired of what you're saying about them.

I BET YOU GOT PUSHED AROUND, SOMEBODY MADE YOU COLD.
BUT THE CYCLE ENDS RIGHT NOW COS YOU CAN'T LEAD ME DOWN THAT ROAD,
AND YOU DON'T KNOW, WHAT YOU DON'T KNOW..

They say, do not to what you don't want others to do unto you. Please listen to them. Don't be a hypocrite because its disgusting. You don't go around telling people you hate her for doing that, and then YOU yourself do something like that. You lose your credibility.

SOMEDAY, I'LL BE LIVING IN A BIG OLE CITY,
AND ALL YOU'RE EVER GONNA BE IS MEAN.
SOMEDAY, I'LL BE BIG ENOUGH SO YOU CAN'T HIT ME,
AND ALL YOU'RE EVER GONNA BE IS MEAN.

I had enough of your bullying. Seriously.

WHY YOU GOTTA BE SO MEAN?

Please stop before you lose all your friends.

OH I CAN SEE YOU YEARS DOWN IN A BAR,
TALKING OVER FOOTBALL GAME,
WITH THAT SAME BIG, LOUD OPINION BUT,
NOBODY'S LISTENING.

I told you. Tone and volume matters if you want people to listen to you. But do you ever listen. Nope.

WASHED UP AND RANTING ABOUT THE SAME OLD, BITTER THING.
DRUNK AND GRUMBLING ABOUT HOW I CAN'T SING.

Yes, I understand that you can sing better. I get it. I really do. I hear you.

BUT ALL YOU ARE IS MEAN.
ALL YOU ARE IS MEAN,
AND A LIAR, AND PATHETIC, AND ALONE IN LIFE AND
MEAN, AND MEAN, AND MEAN, AND MEAN.

You probably still won't listen to me.

SOME DAY, I'LL BE LIVING IN A BIG OLE CITY,
BUT ALL YOU'RE EVER GONNA BE IS MEAN.
SOME DAY, I'LL BE BIG ENOUGH SO YOU CAN'T HIT ME,
BUT ALL YOU'RE EVER GONNA BE IS MEAN.

WHY YOU GOTTA BE SO MEAN.

Well, I won't be like you and hold grudges, because I hate people who hold grudges for an extended long, long period of time. Like, can't you just get over it. But there is one thing I can do when you push me beyond my limit, and though I don't like it, I will do it if you hurt my friends.

Because there is nothing I do better than revenge.

XOXO

hello

2011-02-18T02:23:00.000-08:00

OMG I HAVEN'T BLOGGED IN AGES!
so sorry:D
its just that i got caught up with writing:)
you see, i found this cool website that lets you share your stories, and its called wattpad.com:)
and so, yours truly began sharing her story,
and to my surprise, i actually derive more motivation to continue writing. I used to stop after awhile because i felt that my story isn't good enough, and in the end, i just throw the whole story away.
Its kind of sad sometimes, like the whole idea is thrown away because i have no motivation:)
so now, I'm focusing on one called Valentine's Day. Do read it if you have time. I actually wrote ten chapters, something i never done before in my life:) haha! Just type in my username, which is obviously, thefairytalelover.
So, chinese new year ended yesterday. Haiz. You know, my last post was on the 29th or something, and its been nearly a month! So scary right? I know my blogging style changed a little, cos my shoulders are hurting because i've been typing for three hours and MAN. it hurts. But i couldn't bear to abandon this blog so....:)

Anyway, i'm going to rest. Phew, sec four life is so noooootttt easy:D

Love,
Lim Shan

hannah's poem

2011-01-22T20:48:00.000-08:00

This poem is for my cousin:D she got married two weeks ago i think, and i wrote it for her and i actually went on stage to say it. Believe me, i have gone on stage billions of times but that time,it felt different because i was saying something i really wrote with my heart:)

I’ve always believed in the magic of love,
The meeting of eyes beneath the clove.
When you’re in love, it’s like the first page of a new book
Where the prologue starts and all is good.

You wouldn’t believe how delighted we were
When we heard that our cousin was getting married.
Lost was I in my imagination of her in her wedding dress
Beautiful and shining radiantly no less.

Everyone was so excited at the news
Saturday after Saturday, it was the topic to take away the blues
We all tried to imagine how Paul looked like in his tux,
And our imagination of the wedding day was coming at an influx.

August came and Hannah came back
With Paul to settle the preparations set
As I recalled, all the cousins were excited
About seeing Hannah and Paul and hearing how it all started.

One Saturday, while all the cousins were having ice-cream
All of us heard about the proposal and it seemed
Like a perfect, beautiful love story
That will come together no matter what comes falling.

So now, all of us would like to wish
Hannah and Paul on their newest lease
Of life together and a happily ever after
Of happiness and many days full of laughter.

Little things

2011-01-21T03:05:00.000-08:00

Little things. They are what make up our lives, don't they? Today i realized that it isn't the big things that change your life all the time. You don't need a nerve-wrecking encounter to learn to appreciate your family, or an epic fail in your test to wake up to study. Sure, these do happen to us but the things that slowly, but gradually change us are the tiny things in life that we so often overlook!
Sure, a big thing might motivate us...for a day? How fast does it wear off? A week? A month? These super fast things never procure good results:D I've learned this when my mind finally pieced together after a long long month. :D

Over the month, i've...been trying to find out who i really am. You see, i went through some rather frightening changes that scared me a lot, and i was in this semi-concious state of living that really didn't make me feel as glad with life as i used to. Complicated? Let's just say that i lost myself:D

So today, i had the biggest heart attack of my life, and it opened my eyes to see the little things that actually define who i really am:D
Let's just give the simpler version that for the first time in my life, i was really really really worried for someone, and this showed me how much friends can care for each other. Once in a clique, always in a clique. :)
So after getting the heart attack and running all over the school, i found out that...it is the little things that count in life.

Me? i can tell you something now. I'm this girl who likes vintage things, and crowded areas because they give me comfort, somehow. I love those ice cream carts that stick outside the toa payoh library, and though it is utterly fattening, i can easily eat the whole thing in a minute. I like to watch people and form my own conclusions about them, and i think its really fun to see them mess up and try to look as though nothing happened. i..okay, guess what? I shall go change that freakishly long profile thingy about me. I think i really changed a lot:D go see!:D

The first time.

2011-01-16T00:32:00.000-08:00

It was the first time i stood up for myself. The first time i ever did something for myself that i hopefully don't regret. The first time i dared to stand up for my own feelings. The first time i let everyone see my anger. The first time i showed him, who i really was. The first time i felt free of all the anger and hate in me.

a shoulder to rest on

2011-01-15T06:59:00.002-08:00

for you amelia.

I watched you ramm your fist against the wood
sheathed your sword and drew up your hood
i felt my heart clench at your pain
for no matter what i do, there is nothing to gain

yes i know that she's a princess and all
beautiful, elegant, peitie and small
i know that i can never be compared to her
whatever i say to you just comes out of your other ear

because i'm just a village girl
someone only fit to wipe out someone else's hurl
a strong shining knight like you will never fall for me
but when i'm alone at night, i do nothing but plea

does she understand you like i do?
will she go through so much just for you?
has she ever listened to your troubles one after another
bore all the pain patiently with no utter

will she ever put your feelings before hers?
plan merticulously to make sure that no curse
ever befalls on you when you go on your quests
riding off to save dragons trapped in nets

i paused at my scrubbing and you looked up
smiling at me as sweet as a lark
telling me that i'm your bestest friend ever
there's one else to tell your tales forever

but my dear knight, can't you see?
this country bumpkin is in love with you, no matter what weed
springs up to throttle you in the form of a princess
i'll be here always, giving a shoulder for you to rest.

it takes two FREAKING hands to clap

2011-01-15T06:47:00.000-08:00

This poem is about this annoying guy who thinks he's the whole world. No offence, but he really is not the whole world. In fact he such an donkey that i just want to punch him in the face so if he ever sees me again in this life time, he better run because i will...do something evil to him. One day, i swear, if i ever make it big in thw writing industry, he's going to get a copy of the book and i will circle the poem page and give him a big XOXO and hope that he'll never forget.

flirting may seem like A really easy thing,
but it takes two hands to clap.
so don't push all the blaMe to us, there is no link,
your wOrds strike me like a slap.

at first, my impreSsion of you was really good
and then it just dropped drasticallY
you were such a gentleman and so nOt rUde,
i guess its just a facade and all that it'll ever be.

once in a while, i'd Ask myself
how on earth did i like eating cookies?
i guess i was Really that blind, oh hElp!
this is a problem that keeps occuring to me.

oh my cookie dear and precious Sweetheart
do you know what yoU did to me?
you ruined my life, no offence, and made it hard
but thank you darling, you taught me how to see.

what a donkey you are, and a failure at that
with an egoistiCal self-rigHteous mind
you're that fAbulous, oh please no lady gaga hats
guess i forgot to tell you that the last worD is always mine.

sO while you're out in the world still doiNg youre flirting
and breaking millions of girls' hearts
let me rEmind you of something,
about me forgetting this? it's rather hard

and when you've settled down with tourism
i swear this will come to haunt You
no, its not of any particular reason
just that you chose the wrong heart to attempt to kill.

p.s read the capital letters to see his name:P

gold and sapphire continuation

2011-01-07T18:25:00.000-08:00

CONTINUED FROM GOLD AND SAPPHIRE. (LOOK BELOW UNDER FAIRYTALE TAG)

"I don't understand," Mary said finally. The cold wind gushed around them, making the fire flicker. Mary huddled beneath her cloak more and tried to stay warm. The boy threw more wood into the fire and wrapped himself around blankets too.
"Well, i doubt you would. You're cold and freezing, and everything i say not wouldn't make much sense in the first place." He muttered.
Mary huffed.
"I can understand if you would explain it to me properly." She said indignantly.
The boy paused in his fire making and looked at her.
No matter how many times he looked at her, Mary couldn't get over the beauty of his eyes. They were so serene, so beautiful..so perfect.
"True." He sat up and regarded her carefully. But before he could say anything else, there was a loud crash, and suddenly, the boy was yanking her onto her feet, stamping the fire out. "Come one," He hissed, suddenly looking very frightened. "We have to go!"

Mary had never gone through so much terror in her life before. It was wearing her out slowly and as they ran through the night, she felt more afraid than ever.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
After days of running away from unknown dangers, they finally stopped at the edge of the forest. The boy looked more relaxed as they circled around a huge red cottage.
"Where are we?" She asked.
"The capital. Here, we will be safe." He said, guiding her towards a beaten path.
Mary stared at him in shock. She was at the capital? The place where the royals lived, the centre of all the Kingdom. She was here?
She stayed silent as the boy led her through the tall imposing gates. He moved with the confidence of someone who belonged here.
"Wait here." He said, and disappeared in the crowds.
For a young girl who has never been out of her village, you would expect her to be terrified and afraid but Mary felt something else. She felt this soothing calmness amist all the bustle in the capital. She closed her eyes and soak in the feeling. She felt a slight tug in her stomach, and she followed it. She weaved through the hoards of people and turned to the side of an alley. She felt cold stone at her fingertips and she opened her eyes. To her amazement, she stood in front of a wall with a painting of it. It was a beautiful mosaic of the king, a tall, strong bearing man with a crown on his head with the queen, a beautiful lady with a circlet on her pretty brown hair and a little girl, no more than a baby with brown hair and...and blue eyes. Mary reached out as if she could touch the mosaic. It was as if they were so familiar. The little girl was so familiar...too familiar.
"Mary!" She heard someone call her name. She snatched her hand back and spun around, taken aback by the calling of her name. The boy stood behind her, his eyes shocked. Then, it transformed into one of disbelief, and then resignation. He glanced at the mosaic.
"You should know by now." He said softly.
"Know?"
"Who you are?" He pointed at the painting.

TO BE CONTINUED....:)

next time you point a finger, i'll point you to the mirror.

2011-01-07T06:52:00.001-08:00

Today, tears were like water, words were like swords.

Noelle took a deep breath and banged her locker shut. It was getting increasingly annoying and she didn't know how long more she could take it without attempting revenge. It doesn't mean that she has never screamed at her before, she would never do it. The way she talks..it turns people off immediately. It was like some nail scratching on a chalkboard, this noise that just wouldn't stop. Noelle pushed her way past students and ran up to the roof. Up there, the air was less stuffy and more easier to breathe. It was less polluted with the noise of hate urging her to do something fairly rash.
There is a stark difference between asking a question, and scolding. The difference in tone can really make a difference and this time, it really pissed Noelle off. And then, her irritation had jumped out so fast that it took almost all her will to channel it another way. Somehow, she was even more irritating today and..Noelle sighed and sat down on the top step, burying her face in her hands. It was really tiring, to feel so terribly unjust and yet, so mean at the same time. If she didn't find a way to retaliate, she would feel as though she was letting herself down. If she did, she would feel like she was becomeing someone who doesn't spare a thought for anyone else. It was so easy to lost sight of everyone else and who she really was. She felt so mean and terrible now. A faint memory stirred, and Noelle remembered how disconnected and alone she felt last time. She had to spend her time alone because she didn't care about anyone else but herself. She wanted to change so badly but now that she was more confident of herself, she was really afraid that she would revert back to her old self. It is so frightening to lose herself. But then again, all she was trying to do is to protect herself. All she was trying to do is to find herself. What was she suppose to do now? What?

free

2011-01-02T20:03:00.000-08:00

Tasher stared out of her window, watching the birds fly over treetops and disappear into the whisps of cloud that shaded her neighbourhood. It was the third day of the new year, and for the first time in many months, she felt like she found herself back. Through the end of the last year, she battled with her conflicting feelings, and insomia at night. Now, she could finally sleep in peace.
Why? She finally faced her problems head on and resolved to make the final decision that would perhaps end all her misery. She did have one of the best years of her life and now, she was ready to start another. Glancing down at the poem she wrote, she frowned and erased a mistake that she had overlooked. It was great to finally write about how she felt because for too long, she had abandoned her identity. Writing was her, but she couldn't be bothered for 2 months. That, is not a good thing. A gust of wind blew past, rattling the blinds of her window. She smiled and pushed it up, letting the wind course through the corners of her room. It was hard to feel down and gloomy on a glorious day like this.
Besides, having fairytales in real life to look forward to is making her positively high all the time. True, there may not be happy endings all the time but sometimes, the process is just enough. To hear someone say that he loves his girlfriend a lot, or see someone getting married, its enough to make her feel really happy. It feels great to finally take off the shackles that have been binding her all this while. It was as though she was free again. Free to be herself, and not some other girl. She used to be trapped behind someone's feelings but now, she decided to put herself first. He was the past. Tasher shifted and turned on her laptop. She had to put this poem online. It was her declaration to the world that she was free from any troubles today.

p.s: the poem is just below:D

Untitled.

2011-01-02T19:43:00.000-08:00

Don't you just hate it when you're soooo troubled over something in your life that on that day, you just can't do anything right? You've lost everything because of this person..your laughter, your sanity, your spirit. You can't even write anymore, because you're so hung over this person and it just kills to see yourself like that. I wrote this poem from the point of a girl who really can't take it anymore, and she settles for a final decision to end everything, once and for all. She's too tired to continue dragging it on because its really that pointless. And...well, its a new year. Time for her to get over her past troubles and start it awesomely.

In literature class, my favourite quote is
The course of true love never did run smooth.
I used to scoff and refuse to ponder about it.
I mean, love is love, what is there to lose?

And then, you came into the picture,
you did more than just rearrange my sleeping time.
You confused me on the day i did my literature.
Honestly, i doubted my own feelings and thought that i was blind.

And then, slowly and slowly, i became more confused.
I started to think that nothing could go wrong.
But i would freak out sometimes and write poems about you too.
I mean, i haven't fallen in love for too long.

But i realised that being with you is like a drug.
I was happy intially, and then it turned into pain.
My favourite vampire story said staying away was hard.
I understsand it now, because there is nothing to gain.

But something else struck me more deeply in the book.
The main character said she had two choices.
One is like the sun, the other a drug, what would she do?
Would you believe i chose the sun, the choice less obvious?

So for this reason, i made my desicion.
That i should stop thinking about having a future with you at all.
I have to keep my crystal heart under protection.
To stop it from leaping off a building everytime you called.

The choice is extremely hard to make, i know
The character in the book took the drug in the end.
But unlike her, the sun is the one i chose
I make sure that i won't hyperventilate at the touch of your hand.

So right now, i think i have it going well.
I haven't thought about you in ages, yeah?
No, i'm not trying to get over you and stay away from hell.
I'm just trying to stay away from tragedy..yes.

When i turned on my laptop today i saw these
post-it things i had written to keep me going.
They won't rhyme well, but they are the keys
to poen the door that has kept me shut in.

It read:
"The castle is the place where i seek solace
The land is the place where i seek sadness.
The sky is the place where i seek freedom
The sea is the place where i seek happiness."

Oddly, these few sentences comfort me.
I guess it reminds me of another world.
Where everything is perfect as what it should be.
A place where...a place where you and i never loved.

Gold and Sapphire

2011-01-01T20:12:00.001-08:00

Once upon a time, in a land far far away, there lived a girl by the countryside. She was average looking, with pretty brown hair that hung down her back in ringlets and mysterious powder blue eyes. Back then, all the villagers in her home place either had green or brown eyes, the eyes of the woods and hills but this girl, she had startling blue eyes. The villagers were often speculating about her birth. You see, the girl, who is called Mary, she wasn't from the countryside in the first place. She just mysteriously appeared on the doorstep of a farmer, and when the farmer passed on, Mary just continued the farmer's buisness for him. She became a sister to the farmer's son, and a friend of everyone at the village. But still, there is nothing like good gossip to keep away the cold on a wintry night.
And one night, as the villagers gathered in the big stone room for their weekly gossip session, they noticed one more person among them. It was a boy, the old women thought. Young, fine and strong, with muscles and a gleaming sword, just like any other knight. Of course, the old women were exaggerating. The boy was young, fine and strong. But, he kept himself hidden beneath the folds of his cloak, not drawing any attention to himself. However, once in a while, the villagers would catch a glimpse of gold at the corner of their eyes. The boy had blond hair, the hair of the royals in the city, but he kept it carefully shielded beneath his cloak too.
That same night, Mary was present at the big stone room too. She had be fascinated with the old stories since she was young, and lately, she has been trying to create a tapestry of the old stories. Naturally, she had to be there to listen to more. But halfway through, she caught the eye of the boy who was sitting opposite her. She noticed, with apparent shock, that his eyes were as blue as hers. Distracted, she had pricked herself on the finger with her needle and so, she promised herself that she would never look at him until the end. Just as she went back to concentrate on her sewing, she heard a loud crack. The room fell silent, all staring at the front door, when suddenly, it burst open to reveal several large, hooded men.
Well, obviously, these were bandits, and the villagers started running and screaming, desperate to get away. The bandits simply looked around, amused and then, they saw Mary. Now, these were city bandits, which means they wanted to kidnap people for a sum of money made from selling them. Mary retreated, not knowing of what to do when suddenly, the boy with the same blue eyes as her stepped in front. The bandits laughed, and one of them said, "Nice boy. You not stop us. We're bette' tham you." he sneered. The boy didn't say anything.
The boy then unsheathed his sword(the old women were right!) and used the handle to knock the leader's face. As far as Mary could tell, this boy had the training of a knight. Halfway through the frenzy, he pulled Mary away from the mob of fighting and out away.

They were cutting through the forest when Mary had the sense to think about where she was going.
"Stop!" She skidded along the mud.
The boy stopped and turned around and once again, she was struck by the beauty of the boy's eyes.
"Who are you?" She demanded.
The boy looked at her warily. He reached up and pulled down the hood of his cloak. Mary gasped as she saw his blond hair. Blond hair was the colour of royals. What was a royal doing in her village?
"I think, that you might be my long lost bethrothed. Now, if we don't continue, the bandits are going to catch up." And just like that, he yanked her along.

Later, she found out that according to him, she was the daughter of the King and Queen of the kingdom. On the second night from her birth, she was stolen by someone and lost to the King and Queen. Mary had long known that her birthright was unusual, but never did she expect to know that she was actually the daughter of royals was pretty overwhelming. At night, they made camp under the shelter of a glade tree. The fire crackled merrily as the cold night began to descend. The boy poked at the fire, not quite meeting her eyes.

....WELL, I HAVE NO IDEA HOW TO COMPLETE IT YET, SOOOO, TO BE CONTINUED..;P

I seek

2011-01-01T20:02:00.000-08:00

The castle is a place where i seek solace.
The sea is the place i seek happiness.
The sky is the place where i seek freedom.
The land is the place where i seek sadness.

A story of me

2010-12-30T01:50:00.000-08:00

Lately, i have been going for this training camp module thingy and one of the points that they taught us was having self esteem. And guess what? I...don't possess it:)

So, as usual, i start to stone, and then, i think, and think, and think, and think, and think and then, i try to point out who i really am because sometimes, i don't feel...real. Like, its as if i'm just another character in my book. Then, i thought harder, and imagined what it would be like, if i WAS a character from my own book. And its actually quite hilarious. Look at this:

And she, she was a pretty interesting person. At random times of the day, she was just start to become excited about tiny things like history characters, or the completion of a love story. She is just absolutely crazy about boys, and you could totally imagine her eyes lighting each time a guy walked past. She had the craziest idea about writing new stories before completing her old ones and she just ran on a basis of mental retardation. She would just go on and on about how happy she was on that day and believe me, if you sat beside her, you would just know absolutely everything in her life because truthfully, she can't keep secrets very well. She would tell me everything from the boys she likes to the antics her brother get up to and she panics often too. She had just quit the habit killing her nails because each time she freaks out, her nails die. She looks like a quiet, nerdy bookworm but oh gosh, she has the worst attention span ever and she keeps going on and on and on about how great life is when she's in love. She can never bear to yell at someone and she tells me that she fears many things, but she fears showing those fears to people too. She is a weird girl, but i guess, that's just her.

HAHAHAHAHAH COOL RIGHT? okay, i'm highing now:) dinner time! Bye!

There's a place for us

2010-12-25T06:09:00.000-08:00

I heard this song at the closing credits of Narnia: The Dawn Treader, and it really was a beautiful song. Today is Christmas, a day of celebration and new beginnings. Again, it struck me how much we tend to look down on ourselves so many times, and subconciously, we hide ourselves in the shadows of other people:)
During Christmas, i think that through this whole year, i really have been trying to shrink behind someone else the whole time. This year, i want to be just myself. Yes, i'm not fabulous at dancing, or leading, or singing, or even playing the piano but hey, you know what? At least i'm being myself. And in this song, the main theme is that, there is a place for all of us out there. No matter who you are, there will be someone who loves you very much, for who you are. You can be the kings and queens of your own world. You just have to believe in yourself. :)

THERE'S A PLACE FOR US-CARRIE UNDERWOOD: NARNIA OST

There's a place out there for us
More than just a prayer or anything we ever dreamed of.
So if you feel like giving up
Cause you don't fit in down here
Fear is crashing in close your eyes and take my hand.

We can be the kings and queens of anything if we believe.
It's written in the stars that shine above
A world where you and I belong
Where faith and love will keep us strong
Exactly who we are is just enough
Yes there's a place for us there's a place for us.

Meet the sky
Where your heart is free and hope comes back to life
Where these broken hands are whole again
We will find what we've been waiting for
We were made for so much more

We can be the kings and queens of anything if we believe.
It's written in the stars that shine above
A world where you and I belong
Where faith and love will keep us strong
Exactly who we are is just enough
Yes there's a place for us
Now there's a place for us

So hold on now hold on
There's a place for us

We can be the kings and queens of anything if we believe.
It's written in the stars that shine above
A world where you and I belong
Where faith and love will keep us strong
Exactly who we are is just enough
Exactly who we are is just enough
There's a place for us

light and dark

2010-12-20T20:00:00.000-08:00

AMELIA IS BACKKKK!!!!!!! OMG I MISSED HER SUPER SUPER DUPER MUCH!

Over the few weeks, i have learned many many new things. And one thing that stands out to the me the most is that when i like someone, the feeling of smsing them, it moves more the dark side. Woah, that sounds weird. okay.

When i say that i feel dark, it means, that i have this certain something in me keeping me wary of talking to that person. I get terrified of this person so easily, and that person probably makes me afraid ten times a day. In the end, nothing good comes out of it. That's why i call it dark. Its like there's some instinct in me that just makes it that way.

And, when i'm feeling light, it means that i really really really love that person a lottttttt:) hahahah i don't know how to explain it, but its just how i feel. When i'm talking to amelia, to my clique, to the modern dancers, its like that. I'll never feel upset. Even with my family, its light. They're the ones who save me when i'm distraught or really really really sad.

Its really interesting, but throughout my whole time, there is only one crush that i felt light, and not dark. Seems kind of interesting, right? pity that person is no longer contactable.:P

but right now, i'm just glad to the max that amelia is back because i missed her LOADS. and the light feeling is back too. Along with her:)

The secret. ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

2010-12-19T21:26:00.000-08:00

This is no particular connection to my life now. I just miss writing like crazy.
♥ ♥ ♥
Elizabeth leaned back onto the dewy grass, letting the moisture soak through her thin dress to cool the wounds that still stung on her back. The sun shifted behind the shade of a tree slowly, casting its majestic shadow onto her knees. Crossing her arms behind her head, she studied the patterns of clouds as they drifted in the sky like ships floating on gentle waters.
"Oh, so now you're attempting to trace the clouds?" She heard a warm, low voice behind.
"Oh," She scrambled to her feet, ignoring the pain that coursed through her back as she stood up. "Lord Prince. I'm sorry," She stammered. "I didn't hear-"
"Relax, Elizabeth. I'm not going to torture you." He said lightly, waving off the two guards that trailed closer behind him, sending them back to their positions.
Elizabeth recognized them as the guards of her cell that time, the ones who tried to shield her from Mohat's cruel treatment. She remembered the fair-headed Rewok, and the dark-haired must be...Hozak.
"Wait," She called.
Both guards stopped in their tracks. Elizabeth winced a little as she turned to Jeevan for permission to leave his presence. He raised an eyebrow, but nodded.
"Rewok," She panted a little as she ran after them. "How-how is your wife? Has her labour gone smoothly?" She asked.
Rewok looked a little startled.
"Yes, my lady. She has given birth to twins," Elizabeth heard a hint of pride enter his voice. "A pretty girl and handsome boy."
Elizabeth chuckled. "Surely as handsome as you, i suppose." She teased.
Rewok blushed a little. "Oh, its not that, lady."
She smiled and turned to Hozak.
"And how about your mother? Did my remedy work for her knees?" She asked.
Hozak nodded.
"It did, lady. Thank you. We.." He glanced at Rewok. "We're glad that we could save you, lady."
At this, Elizabeth felt her cheeks grow hot.
"I owe both of you my thanks. Without you both...Mohat would have killed me." She fingered with the hem of her satin sleeve. "Thank you."

When she returned to Jeevan, he had the look of someone who couldn't believe that he could see.
"May i know who you haven't won over to your side in my palace? All the knights are singing praises of you, the stable attendents tell me of your remarkable horse care and now, you even have the guards in the dungeons indebted to you." He said, an eyebrow still raised.
"You just have to be understanding to them. I guess they all haven't had contact with a female in a long while, Lord Prince." She shrugged.
"They haven't had contact with a female who's so willing to do their jobs for them." He corrected.
Elizabeth sat down on the grass again.
"Prince Jeevan, i think...they all just miss their families very much. Rewok only goes back home every six months. He won't be able to see his children until next year." She pointed out.
Jeevan leaned against the tree.
"I know. I'm kept updated with all these, Elizabeth. I'm not that cruel leader that forgets his subjects. I'm not my father." He said, his voice low.
"Then, why are you preventing any ladies from joining your court?" She demanded.
Jeevan sighed, and suddenly, he looked very old. Older and more mature than the boys his age. In the other world, boys his age were busy partying and enjoying life while here, he was trying lead a a Kingdom.
"I'm sorry, Lord Prince. I wasn't-"
"It's not your fault." He said. Then, a trumpet blowed from the castle's fortress.
Jeevan sighed.
"Meet me at the library later, Elizabeth, and you'll know why you're the first female that has stepped across our portcullis in years." He said, and with that, he disappeared.

You'll be the prince, and i'll be the princess.

2010-12-19T02:51:00.000-08:00

This is something that i've worked on for at least an hour. Its true. I really do feel that way. If we continue, we'll probably end up as a tragedy. I can see it:) So, i think we should just stick as good, good, great, awesome friends:) And this is one poem i wrote for my good friend, tabitha.

Just like any girl my age,
I'm not immune to whatever you say.
You may the prince, and i may be the princess,
but it doesn't mean we'll end up together in the end.

These few days, i've been wandering around the castle,
thinking hard, and hard, and much much harder.
I would pace around my room in the turret,
take a trup down to my garden, dodging midnight rats.

Finally, I gave up and in the afternoon sunlight,
I sat on an old stone and decided to write,
down what i felt so i wouldn't go insane,
thinking about you too much in the day.

Then, i realised that thinking too much wouldn't help,
I just have to let it go, or else
I'll mix everything up again,
Oh, i know that feeling well enough to to say.

Its not that i don't like being with you, my prince.
But with so many things going on, i can't think,
I worry about my gowns, my gloves, my hair
Because i just want to look good for you there.

So i think we'd better stay as friends.
At least we can talk to each other with no plans.
We don't need to worry, or fret too much,
you can then concentrate on your stately affairs with more luck.

Oh, i'm not letting you off that easily though,
my acting skills are better than you know.
Maybe when i meet you at the grand ball one day,
I can dance with you, till midnight late.

peace is a hard thing to get:)

2010-12-17T00:02:00.000-08:00

After staying up till 2am last night, seeking therapeutic help from my best friends and writing four pages of diary thinking, i hope that i'm finally cool this time. No more frustration, no more confusion, no more slacking eh? Yeah man. I have to get my act together again. It can be really annoying when you're soooooooo confused with your life and you're up in the dark listening to emo songs crying...woah that's just insane man! I think last night, i really thought through the whole thing. I turned on my beside lamp, turned on happier music, wrote for two hours and tada!!!! I have everything kind of sorted out. I went to play badminton and hung out with my close friends and now, i feel great!
Well, more at peace lah:D

the whampoa gang

2010-12-16T23:58:00.000-08:00

The awesome whampoa gang was first founded in 2002, and maybe even earlier because i have lost count of how many years the members have known each other. :) It first started with the name, "Five Princess" and then, it eventually moved on to "The 186 gang" and finally, to its present name. It consists of, Xin yi, Joycelyn, Ferine, Priscilla, and me!!! It all started when all five took the same school bus to school, and eventually, being in the same class:) I did one for my clique, and the modern dancers so now...let's do one for the gang:)

Xin Yi:

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH we met when? During a hanypinying class right? I remembered that you were the girl with no teeth:P It has been awesome having you as a friend. It was so fun gossiping with you on the bus in the morning last time, and being influenced and yeah:O it is awesome to be in the same class as you though it's really tiring to keep you awake during lessons:D may we have another great year ahead, with loads of sleeping in class and pulling up of socks and playing your awesome piano and taking the bus home and making fun of ferine and daring her to eat chilli and talking about who is going to get married first. Phew, that is a lot! So cool right??

Joycelyn:

By some miracle, we eventually made it to the same primary school huh? Though you only said one sentence to me in kindergarden, hey, at least we remembered that we existed:P It has been COOOOOLLLL being in the same class as you and taking the bus home together! Though we totally stone in the bus and listen to music....At least we do it together. Right....?:) HAHAHA! it has been cool having you as a friend, knowing that at least i have someone to talk to on the long journey home, EVEN if you ignore me:) hahahah! we can continue to talk about handsome students who go for floorball practise eh? Hahhaha i know that topic well:D

Ferine:

WAH, i think i wrote about you already right? Let's do the whampoa style here. Though we were in opposing cliques in kindergarden and you love to bully me until i cry( which i do now), you're still a great friend to have. Yes dear, we can hear you in the bus even with our headphones on because sweetheart, you talk really really really loudly. Don't cry in the bus when there are hot guys, please like better guys because that MD of yours is soooooo boring. Don't talk to yourself at home, its not normal and be happy kay? I have one more year with you and phewwwwwwww. hahaha we can continue reading the same library books!

Priscilla:

Hey!!!!! Remember how we used to play together in primary school and write letters and sing!!! OMG i miss those times soooo much! It was so fun with pooh pooh and roxanne and you draw so awesome man!!! It was so sad you couldn't join us today and we missed you sooooooo much! Hahahaha though we aren't in the same class, or even if we don't stay near each other anymore, you're still part of the awesome whampoa gang! I'll always remember how we took the bus home together and learned singing songs on the bus, go high about winx club and talking about boys. Er, well, the boys part is secondary school:D hee hee!

So, here you go, the whampoa gang. The most astonishing mixture of people who are really....phew! We should go badminton and eat lunch together and spy for hot guys(eh xin yi, i think when ferine around don't have ah?) and go higghhhhh! Even after we graduate also must okay? Yay!!!

p.s don't cry when you read this eh?? HAHAHAHA

Lots of love,
Lim Shan.

The simple way of love

2010-12-16T03:31:00.000-08:00

I think that when we're in love, we tend to replay moments that we spent with the person we like in our head, over and over and over again right? We can't sleep because we're either figuring out how much he likes us, or who he's in love with. Every movement he makes mesmerizes us, and gosh, he just fills our minds, doesn't he? Here, i try to reciprocate what a girl might feel, when someone she likes is away at wall..what she might be thinking when she's gone.

Rain falls down as i pressed my face,
hard across the freezing window pane.
I sighed and turned my muscial box off,
this isn't working, my legs feel too soft.

Is it from dancing too hard,
or because the news is tough,
to bear on this cold, bleak day,
with not much help from the soothing haze.

My heart alternates between high and low,
whether to believe you fully with my soul.
I glance at the tapestries on the walls,
of you, the knight, chasing after the falls.

You look so brave and strong and fearless then,
chasing after dragons and sphnixes when
I met you then, you saved my life,
took me back to palace in the morning light.

Against my will, i undoubtly fell
in love with you, when you refused to sell
me away, in exchange for your freedom,
from those ghastly pirates who kept you in the tomb.

You took care of me and told me the story of the lights
to make me feel better on those cold, hungry nights.
it was so refreshing to be treated like that,
not as royalty, but as a normal friend.

Back in the palace, you told me that
you had to go for a war, just clad
in your silver chainmail and helmet, yes,
i started to worry, for you were always the best.

The rain suddenly stopped, i glanced outside,
to see a figure trudging up the line,
that led to the front gates that shone in silver,
you weren't unscathed, and maybe even muddier.

I ran out of the palace grounds, desperate to see you
You were safe, and its all that matters too
I flung my arms around you and hold you tight,
I didn't want to let go, even till late at night.

poems

2010-12-15T19:14:00.000-08:00

Well, my holidays have been rather interesting, don't you think? This season of giving have truly been really really confusing and nightmarish and happy and confusing. Don't you agree? Hahaha! Oops,maybe i'm still a little high. :)
Anyway, i was just thinking about how crucial it is in life to know when..when to say the correct things, and when to keep silent. (yes, i was watching a taylor swift documentry:) oh well, can't be helped.) Its so ironic how we can go, "OMG i'm sooo not never telling him that i like him! No way!" and then, the next day, you're like, "Oh crap, if only i had told him. Now he has a girlfriend, and he even used to like me" :(
Yeah, ain't that ironic? It can be really infuriating at times but...well...we still do it. As i was looking through my blog, i realized that i...i have been trying to say a lot of things through my poems. Too much, actually. And one of the most recent, main theme of three poems(hey this is A LOT of poems) was actually confusion. Oh my, that's a little scary isn't it. Unknowingly, i've beeb trying to declare to the guy like, "HEY DUDE, I'M OVER HERE. YEAH, I AM CONFUSED ABOUT YA." in the poem. Like, its really obvious. Oh my, that's...is this a good thing, or a bad thing? I'm not really sure. Oh gosh, this ain't good.
Well, at least i know that if there is some place which i can be...me, its in the poems. I really do bring out who i am then, though not so sufficiently i guess:) Oh well. So...don't get freaked out if you start seeing your traits in my poems. I..er...may have been having mood swings on that day. OR...maybe not.

Firework

2010-12-10T01:22:00.000-08:00

By Katy Perry. Its...really inspirational:P

"Firework"

Do you ever feel like a plastic bag,
drifting through the wind
wanting to start again?
Do you ever feel, feel so paper thin
like a house of cards,
one blow from caving in?

Do you ever feel already buried deep?
6 feet under screams but no one seems to hear a thing
Do you know that there's still a chance for you
'Cause there's a spark in you

You just gotta ignite, the light, and let it shine
Just own the night like the 4th of July

'Cause baby you're a firework
Come on, show 'em what you're worth
Make 'em go "Oh, oh, oh"
As you shoot across the sky-y-y

Baby, you're a firework
Come on, let your colors burst
Make 'em go "Oh, oh, oh"
You're gonna leave 'em all in down-own-own

You don't have to feel like a waste of space
You're original, cannot be replaced
If you only knew what the future holds
After a hurricane comes a rainbow

Maybe your reason why all the doors are closed
So you could open one that leads you to the perfect road
Like a lightning bolt, your heart will glow
And when it's time, you'll know

You just gotta ignite, the light, and let it shine
Just own the night like the 4th of July

'Cause baby you're a firework
Come on, show 'em what you're worth
Make 'em go "Oh, oh, oh"
As you shoot across the sky-y-y

Baby, you're a firework
Come on, let your colors burst
Make 'em go "Oh, Oh, Oh"
You're gonna leave 'em all in down-own-own

Boom, boom, boom
Even brighter than the moon, moon, moon
It's always been inside of you, you, you
And now it's time to let it through-ough-ough

'Cause baby you're a firework
Come on, show 'em what you're worth
Make 'em go "Oh, Oh, Oh"
As you shoot across the sky-y-y

Baby, you're a firework
Come on, let your colors burst
Make 'em go "Oh, Oh, Oh"
You're gonna leave 'em all in down-own-own

Boom, boom, boom
Even brighter than the moon, moon, moon
Boom, boom, boom
Even brighter than the moon, moon, moon

You.

2010-12-10T00:44:00.000-08:00

I just realized how much insecure people can be. Be it about looks, talents...whatever. We all just seem to possess the marvellous ability to degrade ourselves to a level that can be a little sucky. I think today, i've learned that...we just have to be who we are, cos' life's way to short to be someone else. Sure, she may have the hair you adore the most, or she sings prettily. She may dance better than you, or draw better than you...in the end, you just have to be you. You do the things you love to do, and do it to the best you can.
I..can't dance as well as others. My dreams of becoming a dancer, or a singer, or an actress, HAHAHAH they'll never come true. They are just dreams of being someone i'm not. I won't pretend to be ashamed of them because that's what many people want. Who doesn't like being in the spotlight, doing something seemingly so cool. But i know my limits.
BUT....i do know that i can write. That's what i know i can do, and i want to pursue that dream. No one can stop me. You can tell me that you don't like the plots but i don't care. Okay, i do, but i'll still continue to write. This is who i am. And you can't take it away from me.

I have this friend who...basically, she has to put someone down to make herself feel better. She once told me that she didn't like one of my stories, and i freaked out. I stopped that book for four months but guess what, in the end, i finished the book. Well, its more of a raw draft, but, i did it. That let me learn that sometimes, people, they just don't want to see you doing something you enjoy. They try to take away that source of enjoyment, because they can never be as happy as you when you do it. All i want to say is that, no matter what, we have to go after our dream. No one will do it for you, so you got to do it yourself. And you can do it. The only obstacle is people who try to degrade you along the way but that, trust me, is easily resolved.

For my case, i simply wrote about that friend as a bitchy, poor thing in my story. One of the most complex and fun characters i have ever made, because its real.

So, pursue your dream. Don't let anyone stop you:)

Me.

2010-11-30T02:35:00.000-08:00

I think that each person needs time to find herself. Yes, i know, i write these kinda things too often but..well, i need to reassure myself of my identity you see. For too long, i guess i've been living as something that is ever so unsure and so...insecure that sometimes, i feel so disgusted with myself. So, let me try to reaffirm who i really am, okay?

I'm a girl...who finds it hard to stand out from other people. I hate being special, to be in the limelight sometimes because it is so uncomfortable. Its all that pressure and trust me, i know enough about pressure. But unfortunately, being a prefect...it's constantly reminding me that i have to stand out. So here, you can say that i'm a girl caught in between everyday.

An...in between girl:)

And above all this, throw in someone who anazlyzes everything, then dramatizes it in her head. You get a very distracted, trying to multi task but sometimes fail, dreamer, failed person at times.

Now, i would have become the in between, daydreamer.

But then, there is this part of me that would never give up. No matter how hard the prefect things up, up till now, i haven't contemplated quitting i guess. Okay, maybe i did, but then, i thought that it would be letting myself down. I never liked messing with my life like that. I mean, don't you find it a waste to throw away a year of you growing up. Without being a prefect, i would never be as much confident as i am now. So, even though i suck as a prefect, I'm going to keep trying to be my best. Even if i don't leave St margs as a prefect, there really is nothing that i'll lose. I mean, except the missing statement in my testimonial, it wouldn't be really anything else. I don't need the points, or the glory of being a leader. I already have a position that i love too. So, here, i have nothing to lose, except disappointing myself. So this is what i use to keep me going. :)

Okay, now, i have become the caught in between, daydreamer who doesn't like giving up.

And then, I have my own world, where everything is perfect. No, I ain't going insane. As in, in my life, i try my best to be as realistic as possible, to the edge of optimism. That means me changing every terrible thing into something good in my brain, then writing it out to vent all my anger. I may be a pushover in life sometimes, but if there is someplace you can't beat me at, its here. Here, i dare to express how i really feel, and i don't even mind shoving it in your face. Like, honestly, i can make you seem like the baddest guy on earth, if i feel like it. I can do all these easily, and only through these words.

So, i am the caught in between, daydreamer who doesn't give up, who can write.

Ah, that sounds alright to me. That's good. I feel less...worthless now. Okay, back to writing:D

Your tune

2010-11-29T03:21:00.000-08:00

This song is something i wrote this evening, after a long reprieve of writing. You can say the tune of this song is strange and a little twisted, because this time, what i wanted to bring out here is actually the confusion this girl is feeling. She doesn't get her feelings, and she clearly has a really low self esteem. When she writes this song, she is afraid of making her feelings known, and she's trying to alternate between doing the right thing..or just following her heart.

Its a sad song i guess, because all she feels is this sense of desolation at her choice. But, as I believe, there is always some magic in love, she does have some happiness from it. She remembers his senseless humming when he speaks, and reciprocates it in this song. In truth, I got the actual tune of the song from a friend. It reminds me of something a girl would remember when she's talking to this guy she really likes, and the random ups and downs in the tune is something like her trying to piece her mind together, but to no avail. I don't claim that this song is great, but to me, its a beautiful because it's not just a nice pretty song to descirbe sadness. Its something really..what the girl feels:)

YOUR TUNE:

I see you walking down from the corridor and,
I felt my heart stop abruptly like its been shot.
It feels so surreal, I can't help but wonder if
this is right.

You come up to me and wave your hand in a 'hi',
I try to stutter out a quick reply and try,
not mess up our meeting this time but this is
so not right.

[Chorus]
Because,

Everytime you smile,
My heart just stops now.
An instinct that just takes over my mind,

and now,

Everytime you sigh,
All i wanna do is try,
To take away any weariness that you feel.

Cos' right now, i just want to keep our status quo and
try not to take away the close feelings we have for each other.
And so with this song i will write down,
The feelings i try to keep shut out,
Locked away in a cupboard but,
I hope you can recognize this tune,
that belongs to you forever.

I met you outside the supermarket one day,
You scared me to death with your enthusiastic greeting,
This must be a dream because there is so much wrong
In this sight.

You walk down the escalator with me behind,
I can't help but look at you with big wide eyes,
And all i can see is a dream that can't come true,
in this lifetime.

[Chorus]
Because,

Everytime you smile,
My heart just stops now.
An instinct that just takes over my mind,

and now,

Everytime you sigh,
All i wanna do is try,
To take away any weariness that you feel.

Cos' right now, i just want to keep our status quo and
try not to take away the close feelings we have for each other.
And so with this song i will write down,
The feelings i try to keep shut out,
Locked away in a cupboard but,
I hope you can recognize this tune,
that belongs to you forever.

Because the feeling you give me,
is one that i can't fall in love,
as you are not mine to take,
but all i want, is to take care of you,
like everyone is worthy enough to care
but i know..this..isn't true in..my book.

Cos' right now, i just want to keep our status quo and
try not to take away the close feelings we have for each other.
And so with this song i will write down,
The feelings i try to keep shut out,
Locked away in a cupboard but,
I hope you can recognize this tune,
that belongs to you forever.

Forever...
Forever...

I may be confused as any girl may be,
But down here i know,
that this tune belongs to...
you

love is blind

2010-11-29T00:10:00.000-08:00

Love is blind.
When you are in love with someone...don't you just amaze at how much intensity the feeling provides you? You think about that someone so frequently, too frequently in fact:P Another thing that amazes me is that the person we fall in love with ain't perfect. He is full of flaws and sometimes, he breaks out hearts so many times but...in the end, we still think he's the prince charming of our lives.
Over the course of the last few months, i've learnt to protect my heart such that now, i'm more than able to look at my friends who are in love as well. Sometimes, a prince charming doesn't have to be perfect to be one. In everyone's case, when we're in love with something, it'll slowly fit the perspective of the prince charming. No, of course we don't call a big flirt a prince but more of...he's the boy of your dreams. A prince charming is the perfect person for us, and more or less, we turn something we love into our prince. Now, i get it when they say that love is blind. It makes us blind to all the faults of the person we like and woah, its kinda scary for a while. In an ironic opposition, someone who has hurt us becomes disgusting and hateful in our sight in every way!
Finding our perfect prince, one that is not marred by our own prejudice, takes time. Loads and loads of time in fact, for we are usually irrational and confused creatures when it comes to love. One thing i've learnt is that...you have to really look for the person properly. Only then, we won't get our hearts broken.
But then again, love is blind.
How are we to know if we chose the correct guy?
I can only hope that i don't choose the wrong one:)

BUT..
with my record, i probably will:P

I'm always wrong.

2010-11-26T19:41:00.000-08:00

How many times a day do i think about how..gosh. Ever been wronged and felt like no one understands what you're going through? Its so annoying when someone assumes they know everything they need to know to pinpoint something at you and you're...you just can't say anything back because if you did, it would be wrong. Since when did saying the truth become wrong? Oh i don't know. It just seems as twisted as the world had become over this long period of time. And...i can't even throw a temper or scream about my anger because its not RIGHT. I have to be quiet, obedient, the one who always get pushed around by other people's wishes. Everything else i do, is not RIGHT. never right. Never correct. And then you wonder why i'm this way. I don't ask for much. Just a little bit and now, you tell me i'm wrong. I don't ask for toys. I don't ask for gadgets. I don't even want to ask you for money nowadays but then. I'm wrong. I'm always wrong. Always wrong. I haven't cried so much since....i have never cried so much. But i'm wrong. I'm always wrong.

Lalalala

2010-11-24T23:21:00.001-08:00

Dance ended early today:) These past three days have been exhausting to the maximum, and i'm sure everyone is worned out very very badly. All the more, we've still got one more day tomorrow before a month of break. oh, correction, i still have prefect things till wednesday. Great. Agh, this is killing my brain cells sometimes:) I haven't got energy to write about something new and i just want to sleep everyday:(

Let's try something alright?

I sat on the edge of the dusty brown fence, swinging my legs back and hooking them against the wooden panels that form an X in the middle. The midday sun shone down strongly, casting my shadow directly below me in the shape of a distorted circle. Dry air blew past me, sending my hair into crazy whirl around my face. I carefully gathered them and tucked them around my shoulder, just breathing in the hot summer air. The grass went from yellow to green for miles and miles around me, leading up to the hill in the distance. I jumped down and made my way up to it, enjoying the sound of my boots crunching the dried up nature.

prefect duty

2010-11-21T19:57:00.000-08:00

This, is how i feel, everyday, for the past two years, every morning, without fail.

PREFECT DUTY:

My heart thumped wildly as i moved,
eyes wide as i stared at her shoe.
I siddled closer to the suspect,
in my mind, I'm already preparing my casket.
She looked at my coldly, her eyes unfeeling just yet
Daring me to come closer, daring me to do that.
I took yet another step, breathing in more deeply.
I can do this, i told myself, i will not do it meekly.
She raised her chin defiantly, strolling just by me.
Hesistantly, i raised a hand, stopping her with a pleam
She stopped in front, hands on her hips.
"What do you want now?"
I'm sorry, I'm just doing my duty.
"Pull up your socks please."

the forest, the knight and the lovely dragon

2010-11-21T19:51:00.000-08:00

This was something i cooked up on the last day of school(: i thought, wouldn't it be cool if i wrote a fairytale in a form of poem( my poem craze was kind of high then) and so i did.

THE FOREST, THE KNIGHT AND THE LOVELY DRAGON:

A little princess lost in the woods
An owl on the birch tree giving her a hoot
She wanders around with much uncertainty
With only mushrooms and shrubs to keep her company.

She runs around desperately, trying to get out at night
Jump, skip, run, anything but to fly
She watches each day progress into darkness
Just like her life now devoid of laughter.

One day in the sparkle of the early sunshine
She awoke to find a long stretch of lines
crisscrossing over one another
They seemed to for a line that led to neither

She followed it with a hopeful heart
Imagining knights with valour and calm
And suddenly, without any warning
She burst out of the woods, the magic behind her humming.

A dragon approached her then
its scales gleaming with a shine of ten
With its monstrous tongue and golden eyes
That leered at her and looked not nice.

Then, out of nowhere, a young knight appeared
with a silver shield mirroring the image of a bird
He slashed and wacked and beat it down
Overcame the beast and made it frown.

Thereafter, he brought her back to the capital,
gave her silk clothes and golden bangels.
And showed her to the ball that day
for he loved her so to make her stay.

So, that night she went and danced with the prince,
it turns out that he was only an arrogant twinge,
with no character, backbone or whatsoever
She went back to the knight with a heart so weathered.

The next day, the knight brought her around the town
showed her his friends, the sheep and the cows
She enjoyed herself so much more
She fell in love with the dragon-slaying boy

She told him thus but he refused
For she was of royal birth so he can't pursue
As much as he wanted to be with her
He'd rather her have a happy life here.

It was raining one day, pouring greatly
The princess was out gathering wild raisins.
She slipped down a path into a hole,
where it was dark, murky and cold.

The knight had started to worry with distraught
the princess couldn't be anywhere far off?
He searched and scoured the whole open area
Only to find nothing and so, he settled in prayer.

And then he felt it, the tug in his heart,
a rope that could lead him to his love
He followed it in preciseness and much fear
That something should befall upon his beloved dear

But alas, he saw that she was safe,
just trapped there beneath the rock-like haze,
He pulled her out and brought her home,
for he hath never felt his heart react such so.

Back in the cottage, where she dried
the princess could scarcely believe her eyes
The knight had fretted about her much
He must love her so, to think so far.

She told him then, that she wouldn't leave
him behind, if she had to give
her heart to anyone in the world,
to him she will trust, the sone of an earl.

The knight knew then, that this was it
He couldn't flee from their destiny
So, they got married by the sparkling waters
And so they lived happily ever after.

king and queen

2010-11-21T19:36:00.000-08:00

This one is pretty straight forward i guess. I'm always fascinated by the idea of two kids growin up and eventually falling in love with each other. This kind of love story is, to me, the most magical as it is as if fate had already decreed them to be together:)

KING AND QUEEN:

When we were at the age of even,
Every playground our mommas brought us to was heaven.
We would scour the deadly slides and ropes,
climb up the treacherous monkeybars with treasure hope.

You were my best friend back then,
We didn't care about some great plan.
That ruled that a biy and girl must fall in love,
to date and kiss and end up on the aisle kissing my glove.

We had our fun playing kind and queen,
ordering our minions to fetch us chilled drinks.
We would go exploring in my backyard,
then run screaming as a lizard lost its part.

But then, we had to eventually grow up,
You became fascinated with football and hiccups.
I grew to dissolve myself within books,
Without knowing, we started to drift in a loop.

At ninth grade, you became more popular with girls,
yet by some miracle, you still remembered my frills.
You took me to our first prom then,
brought me to the highest tower when i said, "can".

Not that i'm not happy with us right now,
I just like to take a long trip back down.
When we were still the princess and the prince,
Playing tag, hopscotch and soda jinx.

Our lives were definately less stress-free then,
no worries about us hugging or holding hands.
How i wish that we were still little kids,
Pretending to be the king and queen.

your line

2010-11-21T19:26:00.000-08:00

This poem, is about this person who seems to be making you fall in love and so confused over him. Everyone had been telling you that you cannot, MUST NOT, fall in love with him but in the end, you kinda just lost it. But then, just when you thought that everything was going all fine, he says something that just..stops you instantly, making you remember where you stand-that is not with him. You backtrack and realise that maybe all this time, he was just playing with you and you were stupidly following his line.

YOUR LINE:

Somehow, after all this time, maybe i was wrong,
I thought that this was better, when you sang me that song,
But this sickly feeling that seems trapped in my gut,
I recognize this as the breaking of my heart.

Words alone cannot describe how i feel now,
I have never felt so lost like a cow.
All i have left is my paper and pen,
so insufficient as such a plan.

Nevertheless, on a plain barren hill i sat,
To stencil down the thoughts on a rock so flat.
I had to express how i really felt about you
Or else my homework i will never do.

It was nearly midnight when i was done.
I looked at the stars and headed straight down,
Back to reality where i had to deal with you.
As i said, i never really learned my lessons, oops.

I know that you're not right for me, never
My mom warned me to stay away forever.
I slipped a little, and here i am now
Oh, who cares, i can fix this somehow.

My phone is playing songs written my pencil,
just like how i'm writing this poem-oh cancel
that wrong word which i oftened spluttered wrongly.
I don't mean it, I really am sorry.

Sweetheart, its not my fault that it had to be like this.
I have been warned, or so i think.
Dear, i apologize for any wrongdoing of mine
I was only somehow following your line.

magical

2010-11-21T19:17:00.000-08:00

This poem is about basically trying not to fall in love with the wrong guy. You have this guy who seems so perfect, who can make you smile, who cares for you but you know you can't have him. As perfect as he is, he's not perfect for you. Somehow, you know that if you like him, you'll only have heartbreak in store for you. So when i wrote this poem, i tried to bring out the feeling of a guy you want to love, but you can't. All you can do is to try to forget it, and to continue being friends with him.

MAGICAL:

When i saw your face alight with glow,
It was such a magical moment, you know,
It was like looking at the sun for the first time,
A blind man regaining his sight so fine.

Yes, i know we cannot be together,
You'll hurt me so, and i'll never love forever.
But sometimes, when i just stare at my phone,
I would think about your smses and seize up in cold.

Many times a day, I would think about you.
Worry, fret, care, all but love too.
Though it hurts so badly to deny this,
There is nothing i can do to appease

The chaotic thoughts that swishe through my mind,
each time i see your beautiful eyes
I would put on a big, bright smil,
and pretend that i feel nothing else.

Oh, such spite in my life,
To regret so much yet i still face the knife.
But, as i had said at the beginning,
Nothing would come out of our intimacy

You wave at me as you caught me staring,
I wave back quickly, fearing that you were scaring.
I close up my feelings and confusion about you
And walk forward, grinning too.

the defination of a prank

2010-11-21T19:12:00.000-08:00

When i'm upset or confused, i guess i would write about my life, and in my world or letters and words, i can tell you that i really dare..to say things i never speak in real life. This poem is about this person who...who really made my life terrible for months. What she did, was...
I've long forgotten about her until yesterday, when i was struck with the onslaught of the turmoil of feelings i had been feeling back then. So, in order to get it out of my head, i wrote this poem, and girl, though i didn't say it back in your face, this is what i really wanted to say to you back then.

THE DEFINATION OF A PRANK:

The defination of a prank is one of a trick,
Played by someone to make them look silly.
Oh, the prank worked, just like a needle prick.
It made me feel exceptionally chilly.

You see, what you did didn't just hurt me
It scarred me and left me a little scared,
You made a loser and cry on my knees,
For three months, you made me lose a friend.

You accused me of being mean and spreading the news,
I must admit, I'm sorry that i did that.
But your logic of a prank one knows is hard to chew,
I thought pranks were to trick the laid backs.

So, here i am, trying to forget about you and him,
I did, but somehow, i feel that he wasn't in the wrong
You were the one who made me at your whim,
So i took a breath, and "Let's be friends again," I swore.

Now, i don't know whether i'm wronged and wrong,
for i still don't see the reason of your reprimand.
You told me i shouldn't have told so long
But in the end, no one remembered your "Everyone".

Look, now i'm pretty much confused
by your way of scolding me
I guess i necglected to tell you,
when i'm sad, i write that you're mean.

When you thought of pretending,
Did it occur that its something really really loud?
So, by declarikng your relationship by smsing,
I merely helped you gather a crowd.

Crush

2010-11-20T22:32:00.000-08:00

Have you ever felt that when you're in love with someone, you have the tendency to be more sad and more happy than usual? I guess that is the effects of the love dosage:)

Back in the period of time where i couldn't live without a guy, i had the feeling 24/7. It was a terrible feeling and i hated it. You started hating the person you liked and gosh, it wasn't a nice feeling to hate and love the same person. So, after July, i made a pact with myself to lock my heart away until i found the right person, and i guess it worked. I'm much more happier than i have been in a long long while. That's because i'm not in the constant turmoil that comes with the crushing on someone feeling. I have the awesomest set of friends in my life, and the best cca ever! I don't really need a guy to like, to provide that sense of happiness and here i am. Yay!

Christmas is coming up. Its the season of giving and i really just want to give everything i have this season. Christmas has the feeling of homely soothing, and not one of chaotic feelings so this time, i'm not going to fall in love because just as much as i believe in love being magical, Christmas is enough for me here:) It has way more magic than love can sustain me:)

I've got to change.

2010-11-13T19:36:00.000-08:00

Have you ever woke up one day and felt like you've been really really mean? I'm so afraid that i have-correction, i think i have, and i feel super upset with myself now. Gah. This can go under my list of things that i need to change myself. I have so many flaws and gosh, its killing me! Okay, okay, let's write it down:

1. Be nicer.

Sometimes, when we're annoyed by someone, the irritance just takes over you and you start to bitch about that someone like you wouldn't believe. And after it all, when you're reflecting, you find yourself being so obnoxious! It doesn't mean that if that someone is mean to you, you have the right to ruin her life right? We shouldn't hold grudges because there is some good in everyone!I didn't think about the gut wrenching feeling she would be having; all i cared is that i wanted to ruin her life. Ugh, i'm such a loser. Why am i stooping to this stage? I have everything i'd ever wanted and i shouldn't wish for me. I should be contented with what i have and try to improve myself everyday. Okay, limshan. You have to get your mind right, okay? So starting from tomorrow, you're going to be nice to her. Alright? Okay. Gosh, i feel like some mean cheerleader now. Ugh. Gross.

Confusion

2010-11-06T01:32:00.000-07:00

Oh confusion is something no one ever likes. It contains the feelings of hopelessness and utter helplessness. It makes you irrational, and sometimes, it ruins your life. It distracts, pains, digs at you and sometimes, you feel totally worthless. Quite unfortunately, confusion is kind of part and parcel of life. Lately, this word has been on my mind and i thought that if i don't write it down, i'll never be able to cement in my view of my own confusion.

I'm sure everyone has been confused about love before. Love is such a complicated thing, something no one can never ever grasp fully. Its elements include, happiness, sadness, fear, excitement, exhiliration and..yes, confusion. I'm sure everyone have gone through a period of time where you were confused about someone, whether you liked that person, whether you were allowed to like that person, whether you should like that person. Well, great news. You're not the only one who's going through this kind of confusion.

I did at first, because the person was...never and cannot be mine. This i know for a fact. Both of us, we never had...alright, for the first time of my life, I'm at loss for words. Don't laugh at me! Anyway, yeah. It took me a while to figure out whether i should go for it because...let's just say my choices are usually quite bad and i don't want to wind up being in hell again because honestly, i had enough for one year. And now, I made the right decision. I'm much happier than i have been in july(ahems) and i'd rather it stay that way:)

Okay, that was kind of serious, if you ask me. This is so not my style. Let's see, what should I talk about.... Oh, what talk? It should be a fairytale right? Yeah!

too much, too little....just right.

2010-11-04T02:57:00.000-07:00

I guess now, I can finally gain the confidence I have been missing for the whole year. Oh great, the end of the year and i found it. Well, at least better late than never right?:D Anyway, I finally realized that some...correction, many of my worries are unfounded. Basically, they are blown up and dramatized hollywood style and in the end, only i get to see it. Not so healthy for me huh? Anyway, I learned that in the end, people don't really think much about it because they are thinking only about themselves. They rarely harp on your issue unless its funny and if its funny, you should be laughing with it too:D
And in the end, we should always put others above ourselves right? Its not easy, but i'd rather be the worker sometimes. And being a leader ain't not being a worker. I have many dreams, apparently, but one of my biggest dream is to always make people smile. I hate it when people are sad because...its just sad. Do you cry when people cry? Many of us do. See, thats why you shouldn't be sad. Where was i? Oh yes. Making people smile has never been easy for me because I'm a really really sensitive person(not a really good sign) so many atimes, i get caught up with myself:D but I'm trying, and i hope i can:D I probably can't dance to make you smile, but i hope my fairies do. Oh, yep. The reason why i love fairytales:D

So anyway, these days have taught me a lot. Too much, too little...no, just right:D

My Grandfather

2010-10-29T20:45:00.000-07:00

This morning, my mum, my maid and I got into talking during breakfast and I was struck with much sadness when the topic came upon my grandfather.

My grandfather was an awesome person. Maybe back then, I didn't have the guts to say anything much to him when i was younger because my chinese fail(still is!) and i couldn't really be bothered. But now, I really really miss him a lot. And so, i will write out everything i want to say about him.

Back at my ninth aunt house, where he used to stay, there was a picture of him on the wall with my grandmother. My grandmother was so beautiful, and so pretty and happy, smiling there and my grandfather was so cool-looking. He was just like the buisness men of the 70s, with the black suit and the sleek hair. There was a life I wanted to know about, a life that he had lived...but i never really got to know it.

My fondest memory of him is always when he's playing majong. I remembered a time when i was...seven? I would love to peek at my parents playing at the saturday gatherings, even though I didn't understand. All i know was that there were bamboos, biscuits, chinese numbers and...what else? I can't remember:) Anyway, I remembered that when i peeked at ym grandfather's tiles, they would be beautifully perfect. They were either all numbers, or all bamboos, or all biscuits, all perfect. He would always take a tile and concentrate hard on it as if it was something really life-changing.

Also, when he came to my house for the period of time, i guess thats when i really got to know more about him. He was so quiet, so solemn and sometimes, I would tell myself, "I'm going to talk to him.." but when he came out of the room, I'll lose the courage totally. As you know, my social skills fail.

Once, my auntie(maid) wanted me to ask him to go out for a walk. I wrote him a note in chinese that said "Go walk walk"(in chinese lah) and he misread it into "Go run run"! I heard him laugh then, a laugh so much like Santa Claus. Its fading from my memory now, but i still want to remember it.

Soon, far far too soon, he was admitted it into the hospital, and I was such a coward, too much a coward to go and visit him. I would hear my mother talk about him, the seriousness of his illness and I would start to cry because I was afraid and sad that my grandfather would be reduced to this state. I wanted to go so badly, but it was so sad. And everyone misread it as that I didn't want to go.

My first visit to him in the hospital turns out to be my last. My last visit to him. Its a memory i would never forget because he was just lying there, so vulnerable. I missed how much he used to play majong, how much he would eat a whole chunk of fish, then spit all the bones out expertly. I missed how he would call me "Sam sam"( supposed to be shanshan) and I wished i had gone to visit him sooner. When he passed away, my cousin told me that just before he..yeah, he raised his hand and pointed to the air in front of his bed. He had said that he saw Jesus.

And then, I knew that no matter how sad we were to lose him, he was with safe hands now.

And so, here, I would like to say what i didn't have the guts to say in the hospital four years ago. I want to tell him that I love him very much, and I don't want him to go. I want him to stay with me again, to eat dinners with him, to have a chance to play majong with him, to talk to him about my school. I love you, gong gong(translate it into chinese). And i miss you very much.

Already is mine

2010-10-29T20:30:00.000-07:00

I saw him walking by
I saw you making eyes at him.
I saw you flip your hair
Batter your lashes and smile real widely
You think i couldn't see
Everything thats going through your mind
You want to make him yours
Pity he's already mine.

Got his number from my phone
You thought you tried to sms him
Guess i forgot to tell
He already knows who you are
You like the flirt with them
Too bad, you just don't know enough
You mess with my boyfried
I'll write about you in my poem.

Doesn't mean I've known you the longest
You can do whatever you want
I've got feelings too and I'm
telling it in your face now

Stop taking my things away from me
You ain't doing it right this time
I've got the upper hand right here
That boy already is mine
He doesn't think I'm ugly
an opposite of what you've done
That boy loves me much
So don't attempt to try it out.

You tried so-o hard
To beautify and dress yourself up
But somehow i get the feel
You're doing this just to spite me
Your tricks ain't working
I'd guess you both are just not meant to be
You get on my nerves
I'll write about you in my story

Doesn't mean I've known you the longest
I'm immune to whatever you do
I'm not that soft little girl anymore
I've got feelings too!

Stop taking my friends away from me
You ain't doing it right this time
I've got the upper hand right here
That boy already is mine
He doesn't think I'm stupid
an opposite of what you've done
That boy loves me much
so don't attempt to make him yours

Stop taking my love away from me
You ain't doing it right this time
I've got the upper hand right here
That boy loves me much
So don't attempt to snatch him away

One day, when you're walking out at night
You'll notice how splendid your life already is
You're just far too bored in life to actually realize it
You have to resort to cruel tricks such
to make your life more entertained
I feel sorry for your plight
Let me offer my condolences
I'm going to remind you again
That boy already is mine

Already is mine..

(chorus one and two)

Woah oh, yeah

Stop taking my firends away from me
you ain't doing it right this time
I've got the upper hand right here
That boy already is mine.

♥

2010-10-29T04:36:00.000-07:00

It is hard for us to actually get past a day itself without feeling like...
"Oh, why can't i be as pretty as her?"
or,
"Oh, she is so talented! Why am i such an idiot!"
or,
"OMG i so want to be like them! They sing so well!"

But i guess, we are who we are. We have gifts that they may not have, and though they may be super pretty and amazing, sometimes, we can't have everything want. I used to think that way far too often, and guess what? I was as miserable as a pig. Then, it got me thinking(i think too much these days:)), why put myself through such a thing when i can actually still be happy? I have talents they don't have, and that is enough to suface all the other flaws i do have, isn't it right?

Today, for the first time, i nearly couldn't believe that i was a prefect, a chairman of modern dance, a care leader blah blah blah. It just struck my on my way home, that i was actually part of all this. I was kind of trying to see how i looked from the perspective of another person and dude, i was interesting. Okay, minus the point that i look totally crap and uncoordinated from another person's eyes, I looked quite, not me. I couldn't see the insecurites that flash through my mind millions of time everyday. I couldn't glimpse a single of the negative feeling i thought i failed in hiding. It was so refreshing, like i was a blind man seeing for the first time. It was out of the world.

So i guess, if i can't sing like them, i can at least, write things that can be sung. Okay, even if i can't do that, I can at least least write poems that describe how i feel, and stories that no one have ever thought of before. It is an amazing gift that God had given me, and I love it. I will never trade anything else for it, and I LOVE IT!♥♥♥

I guess, I am who i am. The wacked up, clumsy girl that loves to write about the things she sees in her head. Today, I learned how to be myself. ♥

weary

2010-10-28T05:43:00.001-07:00

I'm tired. So so desperately tired and i just want to sink into a deep muck of sand and close my eyes. I will stay froz

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i am turning into a meanie.

2010-10-27T05:40:00.000-07:00

You don't know how much self control it takes me to not scream at you. Now. Thankfully, I had ten years of training because honestly, without it, I don't know what I would have done. Just because we don't say anything, doesn't mean we don't feel anything. You got to start listening to others and thinking before you say something because blaming someone else ain't gonna solve the problem. You remember grudges, act drama queen, impose self pity all the time and seriously, please just get a life.

You know, I never had such a problem with anyone else. Whatever they do, I can just accept them, and let go of any animosity i feel for them but you, you are like...meant to make my life miserable. Not just my life actually, but many people. I feel like a mean person writing this but please, if i don't, i really am going to yell at you. Ugh.

During this period of time, I think the hardest thing i have ever done, is trying to stay sane. This year has really been...WOAH...and so many times, I have felt like giving up but i'm still here. But you? You tell me that you want to give up ten times a day and SERIOUSLY, if you want to mean something, you've got to start doing what you say, and please, THINK before you insult someone. I beg you, its killing me not to say anything to your insensitive comments and to smile at you and listen to you yak away like a lhama.

I can't believe I wrote something like this. Maybe its due to the fact that if you make me feel like you deserve a place on paper with ink, i will do it. In fact, twenty years down the road, don't be surprised if i send you a book with you as the villian in it. You had your warning.

shut up

2010-10-26T04:44:00.000-07:00

Some people just don't get it when they annoy you, even if you've known them for YEARS! I know I'm not supposed to be like that, but honestly, if i don't, i'll yell at you. I'm sorry, but sometimes, this is how i feel:

SHUT UP
You with the wacked up hairstyle
Oh, right, that's the trend now?
To self-pursue your self-righteous thoughts
Thinking about what you haven't got

Ten years of friendship hasn't softened me at all
Yeah, you just love to tell me that you were tall
Bullying and laughing at my soft character
Using it as an advantageous leer

I didn't look back, I used it well
The terrible treatment you adore to tell
It was a crowning glory to your poor, poor self
A simple way for you to redeem yourself

Biding my time, avoiding you expertly
Six years passed, and you appeared again superbly
Thinking that Iwas that same pathetic lump
Deluding yourself that you can still be the one.

Oh, how wrong your undeveloped thoughts were
A year was all i needed to let your hear
How much i've changed and how I didn't need you
But still you chose to be a leech and tried to kill

Another two years and woah, we're in the same class
To my dismay that I couldn't run past
I had to deal with your snide comments
Something you've learned, that is to prevent

To elevate your apparent self-resulted feelings
You would do unto others your hateful glee
Laugh at their pain, and add sarcasm to their thoughts
You think we'll really put up with what you've got?

You haven't seen us roll our eyes at your lameness
No, you're just too caught up in your outworldiness
Thinking that you've found some people to lean on,
But tell me, do you kill the friends you've always longed.

No, its not that you're stupid and dumb,
Just pathetic enough to think that you're one
I told you the consequences of your tardiness
Still you refused, so now you'll learn.

Don't you insult us because you're upset
Your sucking of our pain is repulsively mad
You're disgusting us as each day passes
Don't be surprised that you will make messes

Don't you dare say we didn't warn you
You just think too highly of yourself to be used
You hold grudges but you expect forgiveness
As if we're ever going to show your pleasantness

So, for once in your precious life, shut up
and listen to us speak our very last
Because if you don't listen you might just lose
the friends that you painstakingly choose.

dinner!

2010-10-24T04:03:00.001-07:00

Eating dinner with my relatives now:) its cool that i can blog and eat! I love the atmosphere where relatives just talk in mixed dialouges and we just learn to understand things. Today has also been a great day! The haze has dissapitated and after the rain, the air smells so clean and wonderful! We rarely get this kind of feelings anymore these days because of the ultra stress of exams and life. If we just sit back and take a look at tiny things, even like the delectable satay for dinner, we get the happy feeling easily. Thats how simple life is actually. We're the ones who complicated it:) but oh well! Love is complicated:)

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2010-10-23T20:09:00.000-07:00

I think its better when nothing's complicated in the world. Somehow, someway, i got a feeling that the people back in the 60s were much more happier than us. Sure, we've got the air conditioners, cars, computers, ipods, facebook...but don't all this make our lives harder? More bills to pay, more time used online, adding the wrong persons on facebook? All this make us a complicated bunch of people who....are complicated. Yeah. The haze lifted a little today, and it was brillant to have the sun on my skin and to see the buildings far away again(despite the fuzzy effects of my blindness. This, plus a wacked out dream on my part got me thinking about the complicatedness of life these days.

Anyway, let's move out of this...depth-wise part of mine. You know, I think i should try experimenting with fairies in my stories. As in, instead of fairytales depicting a girl finding her love, or herself, you know, my typical teenage fairytales, I should try writing kiddy ones. Instead of the spotlight on the heroine, I should put it on a fairy! That will just work! So, not only people my age can actually read the fairytales. Even kids can too!

Fairies are sweet little things. They are no taller than your thumb, and they are always smiling. They move around in tiny wings with large movements, and just looking at them makes you smile.

Nicole's fairytale

2010-10-22T19:09:00.000-07:00

I'M BACK!:D

Once upon a time, in a land far far away, there lived a girl called Nicole. She was a pretty girl, with black hair that fell to her shoulders and pretty brown eyes that could light up when she smiled. She lived in a town, full of life and activity. Nicole loved to sit on the steps outside her house and see the little children run around playing, with no worries or troubles. She loved to see the shops open in the morning, with colourful scarves flying in the wind to attract the attention of the customers and the lanterns lit up at night to guide a weary traveller to shelter. But above all this, Nicole loved to dance.
Dancing was something she has always loved to do since young. She loved the feel of her limbs stretching sinuously as she let her body do the work. The feeling of it was pleasant, and it made her smile so often. She loved market day, where a platform would be set up in the middle of the town and the people will just dance together. It was a thing everyone loved and did together, and it made her smile too. She would stare at the beautiful dancers on stage twirling around in ribbons of pink and gold and would dream that one day, she would be able to do the same.
However, Nicole wasn't allowed to dance. Her father forbidden her to dance, as he thought that it would bring her no good. There was nothing she could do, except sometimes, when it was close to midnight, she would sneak outside and dance to heart's content.
One day, a royal proclamation was sent to the town. It had told that the princess in the capital was in search of dancers. Nicole's heart had quickened at the news. She had long heard that the princess loved to dance and now, she was in search of people who could dance with her. The only worry she had was..her father. Father would never allow her to go off to dance. But this was her only chance. She had to go. So, Nicole slipped into the town library and took out the map of the province. The capital was about three days journey from the town. She wouldn't be able to take the carriage just like the other girls but she should make it to the capital in time. So that night, she packed a sack of food and a pouch of coins, and then, she left.
The journey was not easy, for Nicole had never left the town. She sought shelter from the towns she passed, for the lanterns at their doors showed their welcome to the weary traveller yet during the day, she was miserable. The heat was painful and sometimes, she would think that she would die. But nevertheless, she pressed on and finally, she saw the grey columns of the portcullis no more than a league away.

The capital was very unlike the town. It was huge, and bustling with people rushing around continuously, purchasing this and that. For a moment, Nicole was a little afraid of the capital. She was alone here, and had no friends. Then, she remembered that she had a dance to do. For the first time, she could dance without any fear of being discovered. Following the map that she had nicked from the library, she slowly found her way to the royal palace.
The palace, like the rest of the capital, was frightening in its splendor. It had gold walls and silver edges that gleamed under the sunlight and it was so tall and intimidating, Nicole almost turned back. Almost. Taking a deep breath, she stepped through the portcullis that was down over the moat and went in to dance.

The room for which she was brought into was huge, with white tiles and light blue curtains to match the velvet seats at the throne area. On one of the seats was a big burly man with a wispy beard and blue eyes that looked as though they could read her minds. Nicole shuddered a little and moved to her position in the middle of the floor.

"What are you here for?" He asked, his voice deep and gravelly.
"To dance, sir." She said, trying to keep her voice from trembling.
The man eyed her warily.
"From which city do you hail?" He asked.
Nicole swallowed nervously.
"I'm from a town sir." She squeaked.
The man's eyes narrowed.
"You think that with your position, you can expect to dance in front of me?" He asked incredulously.
Nicole felt anger rush to her head. So, this man thought of lowly of her.
"The same way I feel about showcasing my dance to you." She snapped.
The man glared at her.
"Begin." He said.

The music wafted through the air from another room and instinctively, Nicole knew that that was her cue. It was happy and joyous, just like how she was feeling. It felt almost natural to dance, as it was the rule of her life. She moved effortlessly, turning as and when she liked, and before she knew it, she was done. She stood there, panting a little as she waited to be judged.

The man looked doubtful.
"Your way of dancing is very very different from ours. I do not think Her Highness would like it." He said, a big smirk on his face.
Nicole felt her heart sink to the bottom of her gut. All her efforts were wasted! She had expended so much energy into making her way here, and to learn that she was rejected because her style of dancing was different was heartbreaking. No, maybe it was even due to the fact that this man thought lowly of her. She was about to leave dejectedly when she heard a soft voice.
"I think that that was alright." Nicole heard it.
She spun around to see a girl with long black hair just like hers, standing at the doorway, her arms folded, smiling at the man.

"Er..it was, Princess?" The man blubbered.
"Oh yes. It's new to me, so I might think that it will do us good to learn a new art of dance. Besides, she dances excellently." The princess smiled at Nicole kindly.
Nicole could barely contain her excitement. It took every ounce of strength she possessed from jumping in joy and to start dancing.
"So, you will accept her? Even if she was from a town?" The man's voice echoed with disgust.
"Why not? You were from the village weren't you?" The princess asked coolly.
Nicole watched the man redden in embarrassment. So, he was from a village huh? How charming of him to throw his weight around like that.
The princess ignored the man. She turned to Nicole.
"So, will you accept my offer of becoming one of my dancers?" She asked.
Nicole couldn't help but break into a big grin.
"Yes! Yes I will!"

The End.

I am a mermaid(part one)

2010-10-22T02:31:00.000-07:00

Time for another excerpt! I just borrowed a new book today and gosh how i love it!:D So, a little inspiration from there:D

I pulled myself up onto the beach, huffing with the effort as the numbing feeling took over my tail. I watched the green scales shimmer slightly as they morph back into two normal feet with the sand stuck onto my legs as if i had been rolling on the beach. I wriggled my toes and raised my head to the sun, soaking in the vitamin c that seemed so rare in my life now. I was in such a complicated mess, and I didn't even ask for it! I swear, there is nothing that can be worse than the state of my life now. I sighed. Leave it to highschool to complicate matters. Being a mermaid on land is starting to infuriate me. Not to mention, I had enough of my plate without worrying that i will hit the headlines on the newspapers anytime now. It had been too dangerous, too dangerous with Josh. What kind of merman is he in the first place? He doesn't even obey the Code at all. I guess he won't be liking me much after he gets the warning from Father. Heaving another great sigh, I pushed myself up, ignoring the painful feeling of my poor, poor feet as they pulled on the weight of my whole body. I pushed my unruly hair back and turned towards home when i saw him.
He was standing there, mouth opened, frozen to the spot. His eyes, the same sea green that always looked so dead was alive, full of curiousity and...was that understanding i saw in them? Impossible. He never bothered about anything in life. He didn't care about anyone. Why did he look as though he cared now? What if he told my secrets? Oh no!

I was wrong. My life could get worse than this.

Love is Magic

2010-10-22T01:56:00.000-07:00

Life is a complicated thing. Like, with a human's average feeling exposure, we kinda feel intense emotions 24/7 and when you're a teenager, you kinda get the worst of it.
According to parents, we're too old to be immature, too young to be capable of deep thinking. So, that's kinda where we are now. Neither here nor there. So, naturally, we get terrible intense feelings when we're happy, or upset. In either ways, I've learned the hard way that sometimes, it's altogether to avoid a heartbreak by not attempting one.
You see, I have been aware that something like this would happen since the moment i started doing it. So, I kept myself carefully just at the line, making sure I don't step over. I think it worked. Because now, I feel...alright. Not distressed, upset, emo, or even this plungy feeling in my gut. I managed to protect myself!
Love, or crushes, are interesting things. They make you feel all magical-ish and sad at the same time. It is unrequited love, in the harshest sense. So, I figured that if you don't touch it, you don't get hurt.

I'm not the type of person who..."protects my heart and never lets it out ever again". Oh no, I may be a coward, but not to that stage. The trick to growing up is to learn when to give your heart away. Having a first crush, learning how to talk to boys, looking for the perfect guy...its all part of teenage life. Its a scary thing, but hey, its love. Its magic. There is nothing you can do to change that fact:D

Love,
Limmy

Mean

2010-10-20T03:06:00.001-07:00

This is taylor's new song, and its super cool cos its so cute:)

Lyrics:
You, with your words like knives
And swords and weapons that you use against me,
You, have knocked me off my feet again,
Got me feeling like I'm nothing.
You, with your voice like nails on a chalkboard
Calling me out when I'm wounded.
You, pickin' on the weaker man.

Well you can take me down,
With just one single blow.
But you don't know, what you don't know,

Someday, I'll be living in a big old city,
And all you're ever gonna be is mean.
Someday, I'll be big enough so you can't hit me,
And all you're ever gonna be is mean.
Why you gotta be so mean?

You, with your switching sides,
And your walk by lies and your humiliation
You, have pointed out my flaws again,
As if I don't already see them.
I walk with my head down,
Trying to block you out cause I'll never impress you
I just wanna feel okay again.

I bet you got pushed around,
Somebody made you cold,
But the cycle ends right now,
You can't lead me down that road,
You don't know, what you don't know

Someday, I'll be, living in a big old city,
And all you're ever gonna be is mean.
Someday, I'll be big enough so you can't hit me,
And all you're ever gonna be is mean.
Why you gotta be so mean?

And I can see you years from now in a bar,
Talking over a football game,
With that same big loud opinion but,
Nobody's listening,
Washed up and ranting about the same old bitter things,
Drunk and grumbling on about how I can't sing.

But all you are is mean,
All you are is mean.
And a liar, and pathetic, and alone in life,
And mean, and mean, and mean, and mean

But someday, I'll be, living in a big old city,
And all you're ever gonna be is mean. Yeah,
Someday, I'll be big enough so you can't hit me,
And all you're ever gonna be is mean.
Why you gotta be so ?
Someday, I'll be, living in a big old city,
And all you're ever gonna be is mean. Yeah,
Someday, I'll be big enough so you can't hit me,
And all you're ever gonna be is mean.
Why you gotta be so mean?

PMS.

2010-10-20T02:36:00.000-07:00

PMS.
The main source of violent mood swings in all girls when their.....is coming(:
I have told myself, after...a pretty violent breakdown that left me thinking about loads of stuff. See, this is the problem with after exams. You're not really distracted by studies that you start thinking about the problems of your life and that reality has soooo many flaws that you break down. A.K.A PMS.
So, as i wrote in my incredibly long long long post, I wanted to change myself. So, one thing to change myself from...VIOLENT MOOD SWINGS.
I think, starting from july? I have been having very very violent mood swings for some reason I'd rather not talk about anymore. And since then, I have been alternating from hyperness in the first two hours of the day, then, to utter weariness for the rest of the day. The end result, Ying Sham suffers:) And these few days, because of the post exam blues thing, (Which is the after effects of not studying, OMG i can't believe it. We actually need to study) I kind of nearly went crazy. So, like, yeah. I need to stop this...um...interesting mood swing and like, get my life back into action. I'm like trying to pinpoint the flaws i need to change badly. So, this is my first one:
PMS.

So, here is my first goal:
1. Stop PMS.

Love,
lim shan

unfair

2010-10-19T05:25:00.001-07:00

You know, sometimes, I think we really have to think about other people before we comment on their...whatever. Because sometimes, if you're just trying to stand out in some stupid way, or trying to put your point across to make the person feel miserable, I think it is better if you don't say anything because...girl, you don't know what you're talking about.

Let's talk about dolphin. She...is a nice person i guess. Oh right, maybe like, last year. Anyway, like seriously, you're trying too hard sometimes. You should know that your violent mood swings are NOT going to get you anywhere and I'm beginning to detest you badly. I mean, she has already scolded us, gave us good reasons as to why we were wrong. Your reasons were...not good. Seriously, you didn't have to SHOUT at us, with the pretty music behind, and dear, your point is already made. By someone who is better at scolding than you. And like, seriously, you're not making us feel anymore remorseful as we should because after you opened your mouth, we kind of turned to the pretty music. Yeah. A case of...bad stuff.

And seriously, sometimes, you have to know the REAL things and not scold me because of your one sided knowledge which is most certainly lacking. Seriously. I mean it. You say he skipped lunches to give us money...i do too alright? I do feel guilty for taking his money. I eat bread every saturday. I skip recess to pay for stuff you don't even think I need. Yeah. Not only he skips lunches. I do too. Do you? Have you ever? Oh, I don't know. Many bills to pay. Yeah sure. Like, for the massage chair we didn't need, the LCD tv we didn't need, the iphones, oh sure. Yeah. My fault that the lights aren't off, that i spent so much money. The phone bill, i will take responsibility. It is my fault. This, i accept. But not the recess money part please. Because if you realised, i don't CHOOSE to stay back and do my cca. Its not my fault.

So you see, sometimes, I don't yell at people, because like, I know that my knowledge is insufficient, and that's why i don't try to wrong people for things that they don't do. Cos' thats not fair to them. You don't have the right to judge them.

Thoughts in a Forest:)

2010-10-18T02:57:00.000-07:00

Okay, that was so emo, I can't stand it. I seriously can't stand being sad and disappointed blah blah blah seriously! I shall write something i haven't written for MONTHS!:D

She crept forward, pushing the bangs out of her face as she crept behind the huge tree. It must have stood there for thousands of years, because it was so tall and its branches were so uncountable, they intertwined themselves with the other tree's and formed a canopy so thick that she could barely see the sunshine. She tugged at her ruffled dress and hitched it higher so she could actually walk. Trust Nancy to put her in such a dress. It was so uncomfortable, and the round sleeves hugged her shoulders so tightly, she could barely raised her arms. She saw movement from the corner of her eye and she ducked back into the shelter of the tree immediately. What was he doing, she thought as she peered out a little. He was there, bending down over, hiding whatever he was looking at with his back. Giselle resisted the urge to stamp her foot in fustration as she tried to see what he was looking at. She leaned forward and then, she hit the back of the tree. She shot back immediately into the shadow, her hand over her mouth. She was stupid beyond recognition. Just plain STUPID.
"I know you're there, sweetheart. Don't need to hide," She heard him say.
She sighed, and came out from her hiding place.
"Stop calling me sweetheart. Save it for her." She said, pushing her annoying, and infuriating curls behind.
James snickered and turned around, grinning. He held a flower in his hand, and he twirled it around with his fingers.
"Why are you following me? Shouldn't you be back at the party?" he demanded.
"And hang out with those people? Please, James, don't insult me like that." Giselle swept her dress up carefully and leaned against a tree.
"And you are choosing to spend it with me. Now, that is surprising." He said sarcastically.
"Why not? I think you're alright?" she smiled, lifting her face to the sparse sunlight that filtered through the thick canopy.
James gave a dry chuckle.
"Oh right. Don't lie." He taunted.
Giselle rolled her eyes.
"I wouldn't waste my time on that kind of thing." She scoffed.
James stared at her in peculiar amazement, then hesistantly pushed the flower onto her hair.
"Now, you look normal." She heard him say.
Giselle smiled. James was a playboy alright, but sometimes, he just had this sweet thing you couldn't resist. Part of the reason why so many girls go after him, but Giselle knew better. She had seen her fair share of boys in her life, and she had enough of them. She was going onto an abstain from boys for a moment. She wanted to heal her broken heart, and hide it away. James looked at her.
"You look deep in thought." he said.
"I am, sweetheart. I am." She teased him.
"Oh, alright dear. I'll deep think with you." He smirked.
And together, they stared at the soft light in the forest, away from everyone else.

Bye Bye

2010-10-18T02:48:00.000-07:00

Today, on my way to school, I noticed these tiny shrubs and trees growing under the shelter of the tall trees. They have leaves, well, a lot of leaves, but still, they're so tiny compared to the vast trees that hovers above them and i wonder, how long does it take for it to grow so tall?
Alright, I'm not turning this post into some monolouge about learning till we're old kinda thing cos...i'm not that sophisticated yet. So, I'm just going to fit what i learned today, into the tiny trees thing.

I guess today, I was very disappointed. I had expected more, yet well...didn't really live up to my expectations i guess. At least, you could have told me. Oh, but you didn't. You just left me to find out the hard way, and when that happened, you just bailed. I thought you were a better person than that. Lately, you've seemed to be drifting away from us, and i guess this was kind of the last straw. I'm sorry. I didn't know you were that busy.

Okay, that was a load of crap. What I'm kind of trying to say is that...we're all like that tiny tree. We don't really stand out much, and we have a long long long long way to go before we can be as majestic as those pretty tall trees but...we still have plenty of leaves. We don't need to wait till we are like, 30 before we start to regret this..or that. We ought to have some responsibility over our lives, don't you think? Like, at least this something...to know that we don't have the right to actually ruin or worsen someone's else's life. Like, I really don't care what you do with yours, just don't hurt others man.
What i was pretty disappointed about is not that you were drifting away, but because somehow, we lost you along the way, and you're not the same anymore.

2010-10-16T21:20:00.000-07:00

For the past six months, you can say that I have been through a roller-coaster ride, and I realized that I never really stopped to think about myself growing again. As in, last time, I used to see what I could become, and to have a wish, to wish that I could be more louder...less talkative...that kind of things. But the last six months, I've literally been living in a dream. Everything seems so blur at the edges as i looked back, as i grappled with duties and studis everyday, not even having time to write or think properly. It was as if i had detached myself from me, making myself do all the work, and shielding me from all the harm and pain that came along with it. As a result, now, after everything is done, I don't know where me have gone. It seems lost, still drifting in the waters of numbness, and I'm going to drag her back. She has rested long enough, and myself is tired. She's weary of the world, and her strong composure is melting away. She needs me to come back and take my life back so she can rest. She has done me the biggest service for keeping me alive for the last half of the year, and now, she has to go.
So, now, myself will dedicate a whole post, to simply, me. Not about love, not about fairytales, not about songs, just one simple, long long post on me, to get her back. I have a feeling that its going to be an incredibly long one, but i don't mind:)
Who am I? That was one question that always crossed my mind last year, as i struggled to pull myself into a new shell. I couldn't stick as the pathetic piece of lump as i was-anti-social, uncaring, fake. That was what i deemed myself all this while, and I wanted to change. So, I did. I changed into a girl who was..louder..more social i guess, less cowardly, and more boy-crazy. Yikes. And then, last year ended, and i found myself in this new world again, or books and studies. For many months, I have locked myself away, detaching myself from everyone. Not that i emo-ed in one corner and didn't care-no. I detached myself by not truly caring about them. Superficially, yes i do. But deep down, its as if i was frozen in a block of ice, not changing. Soon, I forgot that I was there, and began to live just as I was.
Oh ho ho, the exams are over in a flash, and the craziest three weeks of my life are over! But amazingly, I think I was beginning to thaw during these three weeks. Sure, I had spent my life in my studyroom eating tomatoes to stay awake, under the orange glare re-reading my notes, lying on the mattress just resting, and then waking up to continue cramming. It was 1 am sleeping time everyday, and I was about to die, or so i thought. I would pray with my clique everyday, catch up during break times, smiling and going through pain like you wouldn't believe. And during this time, I made friends that I really love a lot.

Tabitha, we weren't really that close last year. It was amazing that we are in the same awesome clique this year, and I had sooooo much fun with you! You were there for me when I was freaking out like mad, and you fed me love stories and fantasies that kept me alive during lessons! I will NEVER EVER forget you!
Beatrice, Hah! The best! Last year, we practically ignored each other for the whole year and then, WHAMM, This year, we're in the same clique. You are super hilarious, and i thank you for giving me so much laughter and joy this year. I needed it more than i had showned, and you are awesome, as you have always been telling me:D
Asmath! Hahaha we continued the friendship we left off in p3:) It was amazing sitting beside you, for you gave me the spirit to be hardworking again! You brought in the simple pastel colours that everyone didn't have anymore-caring and thinking for your family! I am honored to be part of the clique that made you smile this year, and next year, WE HAVE TO SIT TOGETHER KAY?
Ying Sham, HAHAHAHA we can never tell who is calling us:D Thank you for being so awesome and listening to all my woes and witnessing the terrible months in my life:) You were great, advising me to be nice, and giving me pretty shells that i will forever keep. You are awesome and i think you rock like awesome!
Bethany, IAN. hahah! That was how we started going high together. Or so i should say, we started way back in ndp, when you fell. We didn't get the chance to continue our friendship then, and here we are now. I am happy that we have got the chance to spend this year together, and we will do it too, next year.

Nicole, HAHAHAHAHA MY AWESOME BALLET FRIEND. You have been there for me since sec 1, where you scared the hell out of me by not saying anything! It has been super great having you as a friend, cos' you listen to all my woes, and encourage me all the time, even helping me with duty:D I owe you so much, and we must always dance together kay?
Yu Xuan, HAHAHAHA! I think during the last few months, we have really grown way way way closer:) It partly because of...yeah, but also cos i realized that you are really an awesome person:D Thank you for listening to me go way high, and even when i was depressed over..yeah. And thanks to you, I now can smile everyday. No, it is not because of that. But because I get to dance with you, and hang out!:D
Xin Tian, my dear dear dear vice chairperson! You were so intimidating way in sec one, and now, we're leading the best CCA ever together! Thank you for all the support you have given me when i was close to snapping like a rubber band, and it is an honour to lead the dance with you:) Let's bring modern dance to awesomer heights, and get a gold for syf kay?
Ferine, my oldest friend minus xin yi:D Thank you for going home with me all this time since sec one. You can be suppppper noisy sometimes, but without you, it would never be the same. Just...don't cry in the bus next time, because there are hot guys there:D
Silin, I CHOPE YOU! hahahaha I love dancing with you and doing stretching exercises! You are a super awesome dancer, and a great great friend! You know how crazy i am when i see...hahahaha and you go crazy with me too! I have had so much fun with you, and i hope we have more in the future!
Alicia, HAHAHAHAHAHAHA. I have so much fond memories with you, especially with VALT! When we first began as a group, i really wondered how mismatched all of us were, and now, WE ARE AWESOME! It was great sawing, screwing, hammering and dancing with you, and talking about....YES. We so have to go for another picnic, and eat like siao okay?

These people, they helped me find myself. I think that the reason why I'm still here, is because of them. I love all of them like crazy, and I think me is appearing again. She's coming out. OMG she is. I haven't written something as long as this for ages. Like seriously. I'm smiling as i write this, and i'm not tired. OMG, she is coming.
So, anyway, Let's see, who am i? I'm this really complicated girl who over-analyzes EVERYTHING. I have mini-serial dramas in my head everyday when i go for duty, and the best part, they don't even happen:D It is a great flaw because I FEAR, but its also my greatest blessing:) It lets me score in the subject i love the most, and it gives me an insight to people i don't even know. One look, and I can analyze and know about the person's character. A gift, and a curse, but it also lets me be able to write. My over active imagination is the source of my 16 unfinished storybooks, and i love it. I thought I had lost it in the last few months, but i think now, I found it again. Reason? I have the idea of my 17th storybook:D
And my other flaw, and my biggest one, just behind analyzing would be boys, and love. It has become so much in my life to at least check out a guy if he's standing at least six feet away. Yes, a gigantic flaw, but its me. Lim shan. It will be hard to get rid of it, because its like taking away dance or books for me:D Its so much in me, and sometimes, it depresses me. Boys aren't like my stories. They are unpredictable, and fustrating, just like love. But do anyone stop loving? Nope. Love intrigues me a lot, because it is something just like magic. You are attracted to someone who doesn't have any link with you, because of love. Love is magic. Its a wonderful thing that makes everyone smile, no matter how sad they are. (Yes dear, all 17 of my stories are love stories). It is embedded in me, and there is nothing i can do. There is nothing i want to do. It is me.
OMG, yes i am back. That crazy, fairytalish, story writing, trying-to-change-the-world-but-failing, hyperactive, over talkative girl is back. I found me again. YAY!!!!!

Love,
the amazing sotong:D

Bye bye:D

2010-10-11T21:35:00.000-07:00

I think sometimes,
you have to fall in love with the right person.
You have to sacrifice some things
You have to let go of some things
Because some things just don't belong to you.
They belong to someone else:P

OKAY that was emo enough:D
Anyway, ONE MORE DAY TO THE LAST PAPER!
I think during this exam period, i've learned more than i have the whole year. The last term, or in fact, the last two terms have taught me way more than i could have learned in my life.
And i can safely say that,
At least I know how to write my own happy ending now, and not just for others:D

I'll write tomorrow, after so long:D

Sweets!

2010-10-08T05:40:00.000-07:00

Isn't it so pretty and sweet when a guy is in love with a girl yet the girl doesn't really seem to notice because she is just so utterly blind?

It is really super sweet, when a guy smses a girl and goes,
"Hey, how was your day?"
And oh gosh, he just gives her his full attention.
And when she's sad, he sends her over 40++ smiley faces to cheer her up.
He remembers to wish her good luck for her exams
Asks about each paper,
doesn't wish to disturb her by over-smsing
And just thinks that she's super nice.

This is just like some real-life fairytale, and...
oh my gosh,
I'm going to use them as a cross-reference,
because both of them are just so meant to be.

Right, my dears?

Love,
Limshan:)

The Show

2010-10-03T00:17:00.001-07:00

I'm just a little bit caught in the middle
Life is a maze, and love is a riddle
I don't know where to go
Can't do it alone i've tried.
And i don't know why.

Slow it down, make it stop.
Or else my heart is going to pop.
Cos its so hard
To be something i'm not

I'm a fool, out of love
Because i can't get enough.

Cos i'm just a little bit caught in the middle,
Life is a maze, and love is a riddle
I don't know where to go
Can't do it alone i've tried
And i don't know why

I'm just a little girl lost in the moment
I'm so scared,
But i don't show it
I go figure it out
Its breaking me down i know.
I've got to let it go...
And just enjoy the show.

The sun is hot, in the sky
Just like a giant spotlight
The people follow the signs
Synchronized in time
Its a joke, nobody knows
They got tickets to the show

:)

Losing it

2010-09-17T03:37:00.001-07:00

You never really realize how much something means to you until you lose it. For example, ballet.
When i stopped ballet a month ago after my exam and dude, I was distraught. It was as though someone had torn a piece of me away and thrown it in a dustbin and burned the bin. It was terrible, in short. And today, tabi told me that she had quit ballet. She told me that she made the biggest mistake in her life, and i agree. Like so many things in our life, we never truly appreciate it until we really lose it. I for one, know that in the ballet view.
It makes me wonder how much we really overlook everyday. It is a hard thing to accept things you don't like as important and girl, I so know that feeling well:D I have my fair share of annoyance and pissed-ness and these few days, it seemed to be going out of control far too often. Okay, fine, like everyday. I was pissed to the max with an idiot and it was hard for me to stop exploding at her everytime she made and insensitive comment. It took me a whole lot of bible reading, a lot of venting to Ying Sham and a lot more diary entries. I'm still having difficulty grasping the fact that i would one day be upset that i would lose her as a friend but i know that i will.
Thats the reason why I haven't yelled at her freaking face yet.
Many a time, we are so certain of things, we lose sight of what's right for ourselves. Our emotions are deceptive like invisible ink and seriously, I don't know how many times I have been deceived.
Seriously. Okay, fine i do. Like, a million times.
In any case, we should always cherish what we have, and know what we have to do. Tabi, I know you're really upset over losing ballet, and i understand that feeling. But you are a great dancer, and you will be back on stage in no time, doing pointe work again. Work hard, and you can do it. Jiayou!

The amazing sotong:)

Why?

2010-09-10T00:07:00.000-07:00

Sometimes, i really wonder.
Why can't life be as simple as,

"Once upon a time, in a land far far away, there lived a girl.
One day, she met a handsome prince.
They both fell in love and lived happily ever after."

Why?

Yu xuan's fairytale

2010-09-09T01:29:00.000-07:00

Once upon a time, in a land far far away, there lived a girl called Yivette. She was beautiful, with sleek, black hair the cascaded down her back and pretty brown eyes the colour of chocolate. She lived by the seaside, where the sun was always shining and everyday, when the tide came in, it would bring along food for her. However, Yivette never met her parents and she had no company except for her dog that was the same colour of the pristine sand that stood outside her doorstep. One day, she resolved to make her way into the capital, to find out her past. And so, she donned a simple dress and packed only a few silver coins before departing her sea to find her destiny.

The journey was hard, for Yivette had never stepped outside her ocean. She suffered much hardships, and many times, she felt like giving up. One day, she was travelling down a hill when she took a great tumble down. Thankfully, a large, fallen tree trunk broke her fall halfway. Yivette got up, feeling the bruises painfully and try as she might, she couldn't stop her tears. She had no one to depend on, and she was lost in this terrifying world. Then, her dog came bounding after her. It licked her on the cheek and woofed gently.
"Don't cry, my lady," it said.
Yivette blinked in surprise. Her dog just talked to her.
"You...you can talk!" she stuttered.
The dog licked her again.
"You have to continue," it woofed. "You are close there already. You can do it, my lady." it said encouragingly.
Yivette nodded. She would continue. She would find her true parents.

Meanwhile, in the capital, there lived a boy. He was the baker's son, with black hair and brown eyes the color of leaves in autumn. He was named Richard, and day in day out, he would work at the bakery, baking the most wonderful, softest bread with the most irresistible aroma. One night, he had a strange dream. He dreamt of a girl, with dazzling brown eyes and she wore a white dress. She was struggling down a treacherous hill, when she fell. Richard wanted to go and help her, but he couldn't move. He could only watch in despair as she skidded to a stop in front of a tree. Then, he saw a dog the colour of the sun run down towards her. The girl nodded, then got up again. When Richard awoke, dawn had barely broken. He stared at the rising sun in puzzlement, wondering how was she?

Yivette was just out of food the day she saw the great white stone walls of the citadel. She cried out in joy and hugged her dog, who had not spoken since the day she fell. They had made it! Tired and hungry, she walked in unsteadily, a trife afraid of the people. However, they barely paid any attention to her. Quickly, she dodged into the nearby bakery she could find. The smell was so inviting and she pushed open the door, following the smell of the bread. The door tinkled and she stood there, amazed at the simplistic beauty of the bakery.

When Richard was younger, the tinkle of the bakery door made him happy, as it brought the promise of customers and more silver for his family. However, that feeling died off after a while, when his parents passed away and he was left to fend for himself only. Money no longer became important and he no longer saw happiness in another customer. However, when the door tinkled this time, he felt a little change in the atmosphere, as though there was some disturbance. He dusted the flour off his hand and went out, then skidded back. Standing at the door was a girl looking in awe at the shop. No, it wasn't just a girl, it was the girl he had dreamt off so many nights ago. She looked a little more ragged, and a little thinner but still the same girl.

Yivette thought that she was alone until she spotted a boy standing just behind the corner, looking at her. She felt heat rush to her cheeks as she looked at her dirty dress. Timidly, she walked forward.
"Sorry," she said. "But can i have some bread?" she asked.
The boy jumped in shock, then quickly scrambled towards the back, emerging with a loaf of freshly toasted bread.
Yivette grouped around her sack for some coins but realized that she had lost them during her travel. The boy saw it and shook his head.
"No need," his voice was smooth and low. "Come on," he gestured towards a wooden box by the side. "Rest a little."

Richard was still in shock as she obediently sat down, holding the bread as if it was the most precious thing on earth. She looked even more delicate than she had in the dream.
"So, you own this shop?" she asked.
Richard nodded.
"What are you doing here?" he asked curiously. Why would she brave the long journey for nothing? He had never thought that a mere girl could be capable of such a remarkable feat.
The girl blushed just a little. She brushed her hands self-consciously and cleared her throat.
“I…I want to find my parents. I have…have been living by the seaside my whole life and I was lonely..” she trailed off as if afraid.
Richard stared at her. He was remembering the tale the old woman used to tell during festivals. Once upon a time, the queen and king of their kingdom had offended a witch. As a form of punishment, their daughter was banished to the edge of the earth, alone for the rest of her life, with only a dog to care for her. Richard looked at the sand colored dog that was resting at the girl’s feet. It opened one eye and regarded him coolly.
“So, you do know the tale.” A voice rang in his mind.
Richard jumped. The dog just talked.
“Yes.” He replied, through his mind as well.
The dog got up and planted its paws on his knees.
“Then, I suggest that you help my lady. She has been alone this whole time.” He woofed.
“But how?” Richard demanded. “I don’t know who her parents are?”
The dog actually rolled its eyes. “Once upon a time,” he repeated Richard’s thoughts. “the queen and king..”
Oh. Richard finally understood. He turned towards the girl.
“I think I know who your parents are.” He said.
“Really?” the girl dropped her bread.
Richard nodded.
“But first, I think,” he looked at her disheveled state. “You need to rest.”

“I don’t think this will work, Richard.” Yivette plucked at her borrowed skirt anxiously.
It was a week after she had met Richard and he had told her that her parents were actually the king and queen of the kingdom. It was a tale she still refused to believe for it was so far fetched but Richard had told her that there was no harm trying. There was a ball for the end of harvest and Richard had convinced her to go.
“Why not? You must try,” he said, pulling her up the hill.
“But what if I’m not their daughter? Then it’ll be all for nothing!” she whispered.
She had tried so hard not to think about this but she couldn’t. Nothing could hurt her more than losing her parents again.
Richard stopped pulling. He turned around and held her hands encouragingly.
“Listen, Yivette, you have been talked about for years as the daughter the king and queen lost. You must be her. You will be reunited with them.” He said confidently.
Yivette nodded. She could do this. She will see them again.
Richard smiled and continued their journey.

Over the past few weeks, Richard had tried his best to help Yivette learn the ways of the world. She had been excluded for so long that she couldn’t talk to someone without fidgeting or stuttering. It was amazing that she could even talk to him that day. Her dog had disappeared after a few days, and in place, there was a stone statue of it. Yivette never let it out of her sight.
And now, she was bravely facing the king and queen of his kingdom. It was a remarkable feat for a lady and Richard found himself admiring her more and more. He was just about to tell her that when he had found out that they had reached the castle.

The sight of the castle made Yivette more nervous. She let go of Richard’s hand and took quick breaths. Then, holding her head high, she entered it.
It was a terrifying sight at first, with all the splendor and intricate designs on the walls. But after awhile, she grew more confident. Everyone at the ball was masked and no one knew who she was, and all she wanted to do was to find her parents. She rounded the corner and saw the King and Queen. They looked tall and regal, with golden crowns shining on their heads, smiling benevolently at their guests. Yivette frowned, puzzled. She felt nothing, no spark, no connection. Were they really her parents?
“They look splendid, don’t they?” Yivette jumped at the voice of a woman behind her.
“Y-yes, they do.” She stammered.
The woman behind her looked around thirty, with some silver streaks embedded in her thick, black hair. She was beautiful, with brown eyes and a wide smile. She sighed.
“I used to be like that. But a curse ruined my husband and I, costing us our only daughter.” She said sadly.
Yivette’s heart quickened.
“I-I lost my parents too. I haven’t seen anyone since I was young.” Yivette said softly.
She then remembered something, a scene long time ago, so long that she had forgotten about it. It was a dreadful night, full of chaos and terror, then a shower of green sparks and nothing. She looked at the tired lady, and felt the connection. Just then, the castle glowed luminous green and the king and queen transformed into an ugly old witch. She raised her wasted finger and pointed it at Yivette.
“You were not supposed to come back!” she snarled.
Yivette skidded back, afraid.
“But I did, and you have lost.” She screamed.
The witch growled and a green mist extended from her finger towards Yivette. Then, the stone statue of the dog glowed bright red in her pocket. Suddenly, her dog appeared again, and it leaped forward towards the witch. The witch screamed and then, they both disappeared.
“Oh.” Her mother stared at the spot where the witch was standing, then at Yivette. “Oh, oh, oh, you are my daughter! My dear long, lost daughter.”
Yivette felt tears come into her eyes. “Oh, mother,” she cried and ran into her mother’s arms.

Yivette straightened her sewing, stretching her arms. She looked outside the window, reveling in the warmth the sun gave. It has been so long since that happened, and now, she felt so happy. She had found her family, and her new friends.
“Yivette?” her mother knocked on the door.
“Yes, mother?” she jumped up.
The Queen smiled.
“I have an invitation here to a ball that the neighboring Kingdom is throwing for the prince’s birthday. Do you want to go?” she asked.
Yivette nodded. It would be good to have more friends. Richard has been a fantastic friend to her, helping her find her parents, teaching her, and sending her bread sometimes. She had never felt so blessed. She missed her dog though, for it had been her only friend. It had helped her to find her path, and saved her in the end. But now, she could start a new life, with her family and friends.

Shawn's fairytale:)

2010-09-06T17:46:00.000-07:00

Once upon a time, in a land far far away, there lived a prince. He was pretty tall, well built, with a nice smile and long, long lashes and he had many duchesses' setting their eyes on him for their daughters. The prince had everything he ever wanted, from a splendid palace coated with marble and gold, to silk tunics with silver thread and bronze hemming. But somehow, he always felt empty, like some part of him was missing; snatched away from him or lost, but he just couldn't figure out what.

From young, the prince had little friends. His parents were always busy with the matters of state and the maids and palace guards didn't want to talk to him. As he grew up, he learnt soon enough to accept the silence and gradually, he became more and more quiet. Years past and soon, he grew into a fine young man.

Soon enough, his birthday drew near. The King had decided to throw a ball in his honor and he had invited all the princes and princesses from the different kingdoms to join in the celebration. This had the prince worried for he had little experience interacting with people his age and from the many books he had read, they were a rather grim and terrifying lot to began with. In fact, his imagination took him so far as the night before the ball, he couldn't sleep at all. He paced around his balcony, trying to calm down but he couldn't. Not even the sultry night air or the smell of flowers could ease him and he plopped down on his velvet couch in fustration. He looked up at the night sky to see millions of stars glittering in the backdrop of the night, sparkling and twinkling softly. The more he looked, the calmer he grew and soon, he fell asleep.

In his dreams, he saw a girl playing by the medow. She had long, black hair and pretty brown eyes with skin the glowed luminiously even in the soft sunshine that filtered through the leaves of the ancient, gnarled trees that seem to surround the medow. She didn't appear to see him, so he dared to go a little closer. She was picking the wild flowers that grew there, humming a tune to herself. Curious to the tune she was singing, he tried to edge a little closer but just then, he accidentally stepped on a twig. It snapped loud and clear, the sharp tone, reverbrating through the clearing. The girl stopped humming and looked in his direction, and for a moment, their eyes met, brown to brown. The prince felt a tingle in his spine and quickly drew back, breathing hard. He heard soft footsteps coming closer and then, he was awake. The sun shone down on him brightly and he rubbed his eyes blearily. Then, he remembered. Who was she?

During the ball, it turned out that the prince's fears were unfounded. The princes and princesses were perfectly charming and he laughed at the anxiety he had before. Besides, they looked very fine indeed, with the princes looking tall and gallant in their suites while the princesses twirled in their brightly coloured gowns with their silver masks and tiaras with pasted rhinestones and diamonds. The prince exhaled contentedly sa he stood by the balcony, just enjoying the atmosphere of the ball when he heard a musical laugh. He jumped in shock and spun around, nearly knocking down the princess behind him. She was dressed in a dark, velvet gown that complimented her pale skin and her black hair framed her porcelain face. A silver tiara set with emeralds stood proudly on her head and she wore a matching mask that only covered half her face.

"Ogling at princesses?" she teased. "That's not what i would expect from a future ruler."

The prince felt his cheeks redden unmistakably.

"I was not!" he said defensively.

The princess gave that same musical laugh again and strode over to stand beside him. The prince felt his skin heat up. He was a little uncertain, for she seemed vaguely familiar but it couldn't be the case. He had never seen her before. He had no friends. From the side, he noticed that she had wild flowers intertwined in her hair.

"Sure you are." she sighed. "It's a lovely ball you have there."

"Yes," he agreed. "And to think i was so-" he broke off quickly. What was he doing, telling her his thoughts.

"So?" she prompted, looking at him curiously. He saw that she had brown eyes.

"I was scared." he said hurriedly.

The prince had half expected her to turn her head and stalk off, laughing at his stupidity and introvertness. But instead, she smiled a tiny gentle smile.

"I know that feeling." she pretended to whisper urgently as if they were in some crisis.

"You do?" the prince couldn't believe her.

She nodded.

"Being lonely is an unmistakable factor in royalty. I'm guessing you feel the same way." she shrugged, the folds of her skirt swaying.

The prince turned his attention back to the ball room. "I agree." he said somberly.

"Well," the princess turned to him. "You're not lonely now, right? You have a ball here." she smiled.

"Maybe." he said reluctantly. "It is one of my best birthdays though."

"Because I'm here?" she teased.

The prince rolled his eyes. She was funny.

"As if." he scoffed.

"Oh, or you can take this chance to ogle at princesses." she suggested, her eyes filled with mischief.

"I told you already," he felt so embarrassed. "I wasn't ogling! I have better things to do." he smiled.

"Ah. I see. Like, talking to me." she pretended to give a yawn, as though she was bored of their conversation.

"Yeah. Maybe.." he searched for a way to counter her sarcastic attack. "I should find someone taller to talk to."

The princess narrowed her eyes. "Thank you for such a charming remark, Your Highness." she snapped.

The prince laughed and bowed.

"I have to go back in to attend to the guests. I'll...see you later." he said.

The princess smiled.

"Time to get back to ogling." she added.

The prince couldn't resist sighing in exasperation.

"Think anything you want. I can't be bothered with you."

Just before he stepped back through the big brass door, he felt a hand close around his wrist.

"If you ever need a friend though," he could hear the laughter in her voice. "I'll be right here." '

The prince turned around to see that she had taken her mask off. She looked really familiar.

"My name is Shawn." he said lamely, bowing.

"Yivette." she smiled.

Shawn felt his own smile stretch across his lips.

"I'll be back."

2010-09-04T18:50:00.000-07:00

OMG it was hilarious.

HAHAHAH i had the best saturday ever! It was so much fun in the morning! Like, me and six other prefects had to go to SAJC for some chrisian teacher talk thing and guess what? We nearly got lost. Like lost lost lost lost...and it was so funny. We were like, "Okay how." And we made it! Then, we found out that we were an hour early.Fantabulous. It was so much fun with all of them lah! Especially with Sam and Nicole, and Pei Shan at KFC! omg we were like gossiping like there was no tmr and seriously, we were laughing like we were manics.

And then....lets fast forward a bit yeah?...Ah then we went to celebrate Shawn Koh's birthday.

Let's just say that they are so not like how they were depicted by Yu Xuan. Like, they were...not so retarded i guess:) Heehee. Anyway, it was quite cool bah. The difference in hanging out with guys and girls is that...its a whole big way less noiser. But it was not the quiet awkward type of silence. More of the contented silence type.

Get it?

HAHAHAHA anyway, it was one of my best saturdays ever because of the morning and night. Well, except the fact that i am never going to drink tap water again because it gives such bad stomachaches. :D haha. Ooh its raining now. Oh did i forget to mention? Its school holidays now! I'm going to use this holidays to recover and to work hard. I slacked for one whole freaking term and this time, i will not. I will study,and i will do my duty well. Enough of being a coward limshan. You can do it, and you can be brave.

There are three types of people in this world.
1. the type who are utterly confident.
2. the type that are seriously afraid.
3. the type who have the confidence somewhere, but are afraid of themselves.

I guess i fall under number 3. Sure, i have some confidence but honestly, its not as much as i want. And the stupid pathetic thing is that I'm afraid of myself. Like, my enemy is myself. Because myself can stop me from doing the things i want to do.

Maybe yesterday was the first time i dared to do what i wished to do again.

Love,
the amazing sotong:D

I am a mermaid.

2010-09-02T03:13:00.000-07:00

Its so cool how amazing and fantastic that a little thing can make you go oh oh oh when it shines down on you from above that you're like, dude, i'm blinded by the glorious light and when you look back down, you blush at his smile and drop your gaze and try to pretend that nothing had happened but you're afraid of what he's thinking so you raise your head again and glance surreptitiously from beneath your lashes and when your eyes meet, you feel an electric shock go through your whole body and you blush even redder and smile to yourself again, scrunching your toes in the pretty, white sand of the beach and enjoying the sound of the calming waves crashing onto the beautiful sand, only to have it turn back to normal the moment the water crashes on it again and then, you saw the glitter of a tail appearing just above the horizon of the crest of the waves and you're like, what the hell is that and you tug on his sleeve, trying to get him to look but he was a milisecond too late and before you know it, the tears come falling out of your eyes down your cheeks because the sight was just too beatiful and you were sad that he missed it and he was startled as you were one who didn't cry often and he took your hand and asked what's wrong anxiously but you just shook your head, unable to speak any more and suddenly, you know whose tail that was as if some memory had been jolted out of oblivion and you shrug him off and ran down the water and you heard him yell in the distance but this time you ignore him because you know that if you don't do it now, you never will and as soon as you plunge into the icy wave, you feel a tingling down your legs and when you resufaced, you realise that you have a pretty sparkling tail and you were amazed but at the same time, you finally knew what was missing and you could still see him in the distance but you know your destiny isn't with him and you dive down into the water again, thinking that I am a mermaid.

OMG TYPING WITHOUT THIS "." WAS SO FREAKING HARD. THE STORY DIDN'T MAKE SENSE BUT MAN, IT WAS FUN.

In between classes

2010-09-02T03:02:00.000-07:00

This is techically a copy paste from the in between classes blog:) love it:D

That day, we had to do a POA survey!

"Aiya we stay back for what? Its not as if he's coming lor!" Bethany rolled her eyes.
Lim Shan an Tabitha looked around the class.
"I think we're like the only ones here now lah!" Tabitha laughed, looking at the empty classroom.

Okay, technically, the POA class was supposed to stay back to do a survey but as awesome as 3e3 is, no one did! And, our dear poa teacher, Mr Ho was supposed to come in. Seriously, i don't think he ever learns his lessons. He knows fairly well that if he comes into class to tell something unplanned, no one will actually listen. And if the whatever is taking place after pure humanities, no one will actually stay.

"Eh, walao, can we go back now? He probably forgot lah!" Beatrice chucked her files into her bag.
"Later he come after we leave, then we die on monday!" Sarah pointed out.
"But," Tabitha pointed to her watch. "Its like ten minutes past two. I have higher chinese and trust me," she took her literature book. "He probably forgot, seeing him being Mr Ho."
"So can we go?" Bethany asked, annoyed.
"Eh? He's there!" Sarah yelped.

"Erm, Mr Ho!" Lim Shan called.
He turned around and strode into class.

*Okay, hang on, I'm limshan alright? Mr Ho seriously freaks me out. Like, his eyes are damm scary. Its like so big and huge and weird. And when he came into class? My first thought:"OMG monster!!!":)

"Ah i see. I was supposed to go and find you right?" he asked in that annoying voice of his.
"Erm...but no one is here to do the survey..." Beatrice butted in.
"Yeah, i can see that. So i was thinking if we can do it tomorrow?" he asked.
A look of absolute horror flashed on Bethany's face. In fact, on all their faces.

"Erm, tomorrow, this will just happen again." she said quickly.
"And she has to leave for china." Lim Shan pointed to Tabitha who quickly agreed.
"Then how leh?" he demanded.
"Oh, we can do it. We can represent the class." Beatrice said. "Like, everything put 'agree'. "
"Yes!" Tabitha agreed. "Its always like that."
"Huh? How can liddat? Only five of you?" he asked, obviously not used to the ways of school yet.
"Aiya nevermind lah. Its still the same. We always put "agree" for every survey lor." Lim Shan agreed.

"Er," he put the paper on the table. "So how many people are there taking poa?" he asked.
"25," Bethany said confidently.
"So," he frowned. "This one, 25 agree?" he asked.
"Yep." they chorused.

Honestly, Mr Ho seemed to be having much more fun putting 25 under every 'agree' than they were. He was weird. Oh well, they finished the survey and locked up the class room after that.

Mr Ho looked amused though.

Ah, and on the way out, Beatrice quoted again, "We're like(hand swipe thingy) so awesome!"

Life ain't pretty, my dear.

2010-09-01T01:53:00.000-07:00

Today, i realized that life can never be perfect in that 'perfect' sense where everything goes according to plan and you have no troubles, obstacles or whatever.

Am i confusing you?

Hahaha okay, today i went baking with my friends. Of course, being us, we totally ruined our first batch of cupcakes as it overflowed and turned into literally a cake minus the cup. We were like, "Crap! we die!" but when we tasted it, it was seriously good. Like, good to the state where that was our lunch! And we had...er...other mishaps like buying twenty eggs, not enough butter, icing too sweet and burning our hands like they were being barbecued. But guess what? We made literally, SEVENTY cupcakes and like, dude, that is so not easy. :) but what good comes to us, we must pass it on right? So, we're giving it to our class!!!! Well, we're kinda not dead yet? So it must be safe:D

And lets see...ah...crushes. There is a reason why its called a crush. Falling for a guy would undoubtfully lead to you being upset and annoyed at times. And you might just want to punch him in the face and write ten million stories about him being the bad dude. But if you realise, if your crushes never hurt you, you can never find the perfect guy who accepts your flaws. Cupid is blind, so never believe that your first crush or second, or third, or fourth can be successful because he is BLIND. he needs time to get it right. You know, its a little like guess and check:)

Ah, and there is school. School, the bane of many students where we pick up all our life lessons one by one. We learn the art of acting perfectly when you're upset, and multi tasking(seriously) and new "vocabulary". It is in school where you gather the most courage and social skills and you have a chance to see how life truly is through your stressed teachers. School is never perfect, and you will never be happy everyday in school. But there are people called friends there, and they can help make it more enjoyable, even if you have to be a slave to the school sometimes.

Oh and nasty people. They will always be part of your life, like it or not. But they also provide a source of satisfaction right? Especially when you get back at them:) heehee this is not a good point, but seriously? You do feel happy when you get proven right in front of the faces...right??:D

Hahaha you see, life ain't all that bad. It depends how you want to see it. If you want to see it as a sob story with bitchy people and terrible crushes, you can. You can even see yourself as the victim, untalented, the worse character in the story. OR, for my case, you can be the bringer of happiness, where you are surrounded by friends and love. You may think, "She's crazy. She's only going to get her butt kicked when she faces reality" but i can tell you that i already had my butt kicked. But if you only whine about it, you will always be the one getting kicked, with no idea why.

So life isn't perfect,
but what you do can affect it.

Love,
the amazing sotong(yes, a sotong is dumb, but amazing makes it sound better doesn't it?) :D

You are the best thing, that has ever been mine.

2010-08-28T21:46:00.001-07:00

"NO! I....this is not what i meant!" i shouted.
"Oh really? Then what? I know I'm not good enough. I'm never good enough." He yelled, banging the table. "Never good enough to protect you like he can."
"I didn't say that," i cried. "I didn't..."
"Oh yes? You are so easy to read. I could see it written all over your face when he pulled you out of the water. You wanted him so much. I could tell." he shouted.
"He saved my freaking worthless life!" i screamed. "If you have actually paid attention to what i had said, i wouldn't have drowned!"
"So its my fault now?" he came up close. "Its my fault that you like another guy?"
"YES! ITS ALL YOUR FAULT!" I shouted.
My voice broke and i covered my face with my hands, feeling my tears seep through my fingers.
"I never wanted this. You promised me...you promised." i sobbed. I looked up to see his face like stone, his hand curled into a fist.
"Forget it," i whispered. "Forget everything we had gone through together. Forget it." i turned and ran out of the house.

It was all to familiar...the running. It was the same so many years ago when i ran out of my parents house as they were shouting at each other. Now i was running away from the guy i loved. I stopped near the old pine tree and brushed the tears out of my eyes. He promised me. He promised that he would never hurt me like my parents did. Images of my parents fighting got dredged up, along with him. They don't match. They never do. He wasn't suppose to be like them. He promised!
At that thought, i heard footsteps behind me. I started to run again but his hand was a like a vise around my wrist.
"Don't," i heard him murmur. "Don't. I didn't mean to hurt you."
I tried to slip my hand away but he didn't let go. Instead, he pulled me against him, turning me around.
I kept my head down, trying my best to stop the tears but they just kept coming and coming and coming....
"Listen," he held my cheeks. "What i did just now was because i was afraid. I was so afraid of you being lost. When you were in the water....it hurt so much to watch but be unable to help." he whispered.
"Unable...unable to help?" i asked.
"I can't swim. I'm afraid of the water." he admitted. "I was so scared, so scared for you that i wanted to jump in but i knew that if i did, i could kill you myself." He stopped, his voice choking. "It hurt so bad."
"Then...then why did you say that i wanted John? I never did. You know that." i said.
He sighed. "Maybe he fufilled the part i couldn't do for you. I'm so sorry for what i said. I was such an idiot. If only I-"
"Sshhh!" i pressed my lips against his to silence him. "No more. Don't...don't do that to me again okay?" i said shakily.
He chuckled halfheartedly and wiped my tears off. "I fell in love with a careless man's careful daughter," he whispered softly.
I laughed at that line. "You stole that one off a song didn't you?" i said accusingly.
He smiled. "But my favourite line comes after that," he said, pulling me into a big hug.
"What is it?"
He leaned down so he could speak in my ear. "It says, "You are the best thing, that has ever been mine"."

SCREAM,YELL,WHINE,SPITE.

2010-08-27T00:51:00.000-07:00

OMG i so need to get my blog alive again! Its so hard to write these days because like, there is no time. Ask anyone and they will tell you that everyday, you are so tired that you just come home and fall asleep! Anyway, gah, still so tired. So, i can't crack my brain now so i shall rant.

Honestly, some people can seriously make your blood boil and you need all the effort needed to calm yourself down and to not scream at that person. Well, i believe that screaming at people won't really solve any problem. Like, you still feel pissed and you won't ever talk to that person again, and then, you'll scream at someone else and what happens? You go around hating and being hated. I don't believe that words should be used as such. I mean, come on, sure, God gave us a mouth for a reason but if you feel angry because of a tiny matter, there is no point in abusing the power of words. They have impact, if you didn't realise. Telling people you hate this, or hate that, or whatever, doesn't make you any more popular. You just give the impression that you are pessismistic, and you can't cope with your life. There is also no point in whining all the time. Okay, i admit, i do whine myself. But whining about something 24/7 about the same thing is really annoying. Oh you didn't realise? You didn't realise that no one is listening to you anymore? Okay, i can tell you. The reason is because you whine soooo much that in the end? Each time you open your mouth, they expect to hear a whine. And honestly, its not going to help you at all.

Sometimes, people also want to be bad to others. Say, you want to get back at others? Because of what they did to you, you kind of feel the urge to spite them? Now, if you actually LOOK properly, she was just joking half the time. You need not do that. It was not... needed. Did it make you feel better? Oh sure it did. For a while i guess. Because you will realise less than a day later, that she felt really upset. Just because you were..."joking". Its seriously not cool. It doesn't make you any better because you hurt someone for selfish reasons. You don't need to be so petty because if you had waited and seen the whole freaking picture, you would have KNOWN that she didn't mean any harm. Oh i forgot. You didn't. You just did what you did. Brilliant.

PHEW. OKAY i have ranted enough. If i didn't write, i'll end up screaming at someone myself. What i just want to say that is, why yell, whine, spite, scream....when you have the choice not to do it? Why go through so much just to make yourself feel better? Sure, she may be annoying, but do you have to backstab her like that? You complain she backstabs but you also backstab yourself. Then, you don't really have the right to say such things about her. YOu don't possess that right to ruin her life. Neither does she, for you. If she finds out, she'll do that to you and what happens? Oh let me guess. Your life would be ruined too. Isn't that marvellous? How a simple whine can do so much? Well, let me tell you. It can.

Crap, i have to stop writing. I'm linking up more and more and more complaints onto this post. Argh...okay, deep breaths. I'm okay now. PHEW.

A dedication to my awesome row.

2010-08-13T05:24:00.001-07:00

"You made a rebel of a careless man's careful daughter..You are the best thing that's ever been mine."

Isn't it wonderous? The way love can affect someone?

NO I AM NOT TALKING ABOUT crushing on this really cute, nice, amazing guy. The lyrics are just super nice. Okay, that was not the main point. Wrong point! Okay.

At the start of the year, i sat at the far right side of the classroom. The first row was Yan Yee and Ann...the second row was Asmath and I...the third row was Tabitha and Beatrice. It was the strangest combination, i had thought then. Okay, except for Tabitha, i was never close to beatrice, ann, yan yee, let alone asmath. It was quite hilarious at the beginning, because Asmath and I haven't talked in literally 3 years? Or more? OMG 5 years! Yes! But it was so funny because Beatrice and Tabitha would go high during english lessons, and it was just so fun sitting with them! Slowly, our row kinda bonded a little. Like, when it came to group work in a group of six...all of us would be like..."Eh our whole row lah!" and we will just laugh together. It was nice.

The turning point came during the holidays, when it was oh so boring and so BLEH without them! It was super cool to see them again, and it was awesome when asmath said,(i tried to remember it as carefully and precisely as i could) "I was wondering why i was so bored at home(she was absent for a few days.) And i know why lah! I missed you guys!"

AWWWWWWWW!!!!!

Then, some Pil.LOW had to change our positions. Ferine and Ying Sham joined our awesome row! It was a little weird initially, because Ying Sham was sooooooo quiet and i was super pressurized everytime because she was so darn smart! Then, it became nice again:) Now, it kinda has a pattern and our row still rocks. Like, its just like a family. There will be two hyper crazy people behind us, two smart people further, then there will be yan yee smarting in front too and ann doing random things at random times! Oh! Not to mention me writing stories and Ying Sham pro-ing in the studies. Its cool because we kinda had established a little.....i don't know. Its a nice feeling to walk into class after a morning of duty to find them laughing all the way. It kinda relieves stress.

I guess i have to thank Pil.LOW for this(i did not just say that!)

Love with magical kisses,
limshan.

the awesome phone my bro has

2010-08-08T07:20:00.000-07:00

omg i love using the phone to type!!! Its awesome! fantabulous in fact, right? This is to my awesome brother!:)

about me:)

2010-08-06T20:12:00.000-07:00

The thing that really mystifies me is how much our environment can alter ourselves. I know i haven't blogged in ages! And i miss the feeling sooo much! Haha alright then. From the last time i actually talked about myself, i have a new seat now, with the awesome Ying Sham who name sounds exactly like mine so we both get confused real easy:)I have had an awesome time with my 3E3 because now, we are more like a class...less distant and more close. I love my dance mates too! Because even now, though i have stepped up as chairman, it wasn't as stressful as i thought. And, i guess i did change during this period of time. I don't need a...yeah...to work hard and i rely less on materialistic things. Because the most important thing is friends actually. Yesterday, i had a MD outing yesterday at botanic gardens and being in such a serene scenery with a guitar and a dog was perfect for me. I was peace-fied and can expect nothing much more with my life. I won't want so many things anymore because (this is the part where greek myths comes in) nemesis, the goddess of revenge takes care of how much...happiness we have. Too much may tip the balance, and i definitely don't want anymore depressing stuff. I don't want to put Ying Sham in misery of taking all her tissue paper again so i'm happy. And thats all that matters actuall.:)

The Moon Princess

2010-07-30T03:02:00.000-07:00

Once upon a time, in a land far far away, there lived a princessk named Myra. She was not beautiful, with an ugly birthmark down the side of her face. Her father despised her, and when she was born, he sent her mother away and re-married. The new Queen gave him a beautiful daughter with blond curls and sparkling blue eyes while Myra was brunette with rich, brown eyes. As the years go by, Myra became more and more neglected as the princess grew up to be a fine lady. Finally, a month before Myra's birthday, the King sent her away for he could not bear the thought of his ugly daughter having her debut. Myra was happy to be away. She had been shunned long enough and two nights before he planned to send her off, she packed her belongings and set off towards the land of the moon.

Legend has it the Land of Moon was a peaceful place. The people there were not as white as the people in the Land of the Sun. However, Myra heard that they were more beautiful. Their olive toned skin would glow in the moon and they were kind people. There, Myra knew that she would never feel as an outcast as she was now. Henceforth, she made her way past treacherous creeks and burning desert days. But, she lost sight of the Land, and by the end of the month, she was convinced that she was going to perish.

One night, she dropped by a village. The houses were built on mainly mud and stone slabs and at night, the village was only lit by a few glow worms that hung off the trees. Weary, she plopped down beside the wall of a nearby well, only to find herself sitting beside an old woman. She had wispy white hair and silver eyes that glowed under the moonlight.

“Hence where you seek?” she asked.
“The Land of the Moon.” Myra replied sadly. “Though I have lost sight of it.”
The woman took her hand in her old, withered ones.
“Thou shalt seek if thou shall look. Follow the wind, and smell the ground. What thou seeks, thou finds.”
And with a puff of wind, the woman disappeared.

The next day, Myra set off once again, and she travelled far. Then, she came down to a valley. It was dark and deep, and it terrified her. She stared at it, remembering the woman’s words. She was to follow the wind. But where? What wind? As if conjured by her thoughts, she felt a gust of wind. The wind was colorful, twisting gold and green together. It shimmered momentarily in front of her and suddenly, she felt herself rising up the plateau, and then, it stopped.

Myra lifted her head, her eyes sore from the dust in the wind. Then, she saw it. The wind had brought her to the very entrance of the Land. Out far, she saw the beautiful homes of the Moon people. Silver ebony arches framed the entrances of their homes and she could hear the muffled laughter as the children played. Beautiful women with black hair and brown eyes like hers walked about with baskets on their heads, chatting to their neighbors. Trees grew unhindered, their branches glorying in the spotlight of the divine moon.

Myra fled to the doorway but she was held back by a shield. There and then, she nearly burst into tears. She wanted to go in so badly. Then, she smelt a dry crust of the ground with crushed acorns. Looking down, she saw a golden apple buried beneath the soil. Desperate, she took it up and bit it, her tears falling freely. Then, she felt the blur of the color wind again, and suddenly, she was in.

People stared at her. The children had stopped playing and the women stopped in their tracks. Some came up to her and touched her hair wonderingly. She saw a child hiding behind the folds of her mother’s skirts, staring at him with wide eyes.

Myra knelt down and extended her hand.
“Hello.” She said softly.
The child crept forward timidly. Everyone held their breath. The mother moved forward, her eyes wide.
“My child.” The womansaid. It was the voice of a goddess. Myra felt power in her words, and something familiar.
“You have come.” She said.

Myra bowed her head and smiled. Everyone smiled.
“Yes, mother. I have come.”

The End.

Back to the beginning:)

2010-07-09T01:52:00.000-07:00

Noelle's perspective:
Darius looked a little different today. When i walked into the treehouse, he was sitting against the wooden wall on the makeshift bed, a frown on his face like he was thinking hard. I could tellt hat he came straight from school, for he was still wearing the same shirt and the ragged jeans with a worn out hole at his right knee. They were mud streaked so my guess was that he got into another scruffle.
"What's wrong?" i asked, plopping down on the bed beside him.
He shook his head, his frown smoothening a little. "Why do you like wearing your hair up in your cap?" he asked, touching a loose strand of my hair.
I shrugged. I had long blond hair which always got in my way when i wanted to have fun. Mum refused to let me cut it so i had no choice but to tuck it in this way.
"It's annoying." i smiled.
I nudged him with one shoulder. "So, what's up? You seem distracted."
Darius smiled, still tugging my hair, twirling it around his finger.
"Since when did you care so much about me?" he teased.
I rolled my eyes. "Don't be such a pest," i said. "What is wrong?"

Darius's perspective:
Should i tell her? I looked down at her. She looked so delicate, though she was definitely the exact opposite of that. But she was still so unbothered, and i wished that we could forever stay that way. I sighed quietly, hating the pathetically new trend in my school.
Noelle noticed that. She frowned, her line of freckles curling.
"Tell me, Darius. You're no fun when you're like that."
I cracked a smile.
"All you want is to have fun," i shook my head in disbelief.
Noelle grinned.
"But of course. Now," she settled closer to me. "Tell me what's bothering you, and then we can go and play." she said decidedly.
I shook my head, my brief lightening of mood darkening.
"It's too complicated." i said, helping her tuck her loose hair back into the cap.
Noelle frowned at my words.
"I don't like the sound of that." she said grumpily. Then, she glanced at me quickly. "But you don't like it either, don't you?" she guessed.
I glanced at her in surprise. Sometimes, she knew me better than i did. And vice versa. This was what happened when you grow up together. I sighed again.
"It's this new trend in school," i hesitated.

Noelle's perspective:
It was odd seeing Darius like that, so at loss for words.
"And?" i prompted him.
"You see, guys feel....that kissing," he glanced at me anxiously. "Was what made us boys. And so far," he paused, coughing self-conciously. "Only i have not kissed."
I stared at him, dumbfounded.
"No offence, but that is like the dumbest thing i have ever heard." i declared.
Darius smiled.
"Its school..." he trailed off.
I felt his sadness, and thought of a way to make him laugh.
"Well," i said, fiddling with my shirt a little self-conciously. "And i had thought there was no dare the great Darius would be scared of." i teased.
Darius rolled his eyes.
"No! I just don't think that its worth it to kiss someone because of some stupid trend."
"Then, i dare you to kiss me." i said defiantly.

-the rest of the manuscript was lost. So i couldn't remember anymore:(-

I just think that in the end, both of them decided that its better to stay as friends:)

Thank You.

2010-06-30T02:14:00.001-07:00

Once upon a time, there lived a princess a long time ago. She had everthing she ever wanted, for she had the most beautiful palace in the world. Her palace was filled with the most precious stones in the world and she had the maids and palace guards for friends. Her hair was light brown, wavy at the ends that cascaded over her shoulders, and she had the prettiest brown eyes ever. She was grateful for her life, and on her eighteenth birthday, her father had thrown a ball in her honour. Everyone hath been invited, including her childhood friend.
No one knew this, but she had a secret tendre for that friend. He was sweet, nice, and everything she had ever wanted. But as she grew up, she knew that he loved another girl. He was her friend, but he never knew what she thought. Her thoughts were kept only to her, and no one else. But when he asked her for ways to court a girl he loved, it hurt her beyond comparison. There was nothing she could do; love was never the idea for marriage, and as her father said, she would use the ball to find a proper husband.
But as the ball progressed, the princess was beginning to feel less and less sure about her betrothal. The princes were obnoxious and they only cared about themselves. Her friend was also having a lot of fun, dancing with the other ladies in the room, leaving her alone. As they progressed towards midnight, the princess managed to take a breather by the side.
"Having fun yet?" her friend slid onto the seat beside her
"Yes." she smiled weakly, her heart pounding. Why, of all the times, he chose to look exceptionally handsome on the day she had to pick er betrothed?
"Me too." he flashed a devastating smile. "Especially," he turned her to a pretty blond lady. "That lady over there. It was amazing dancing with her."
The princess tried to muster a smile but she couldn't. She felt tears coming on before she knew it, and she felt something in her snapped.
"Why are you so blind?" she whispered.
She turned her back on him and ran out, feeling so distraught and tired. She stole away to the garden to wallow in self-pity.
The garden had always been as beautiful like the rest of the palace. She slumped over towards the stone benches that were lit by dim lights and the single, lonely. There, she let her tears flow freely. All her kept anguish and sadness came out in the form of large, glassy tears and she never felt more sad. She wept till everything was out and she felt much better.
"Are you alright, princess?" a voice asked.
The princess jumped in shock and spun around. It was one of the princes whom she haven't danced yet.
She wiped away the tears quickly and swallowed.
"Yes." she said quickly.
The prince strode over in large strides and sat down beside her.
"It doesn't seem so," he said gently.
And everything came over again. She turned away from her so he wouldn't see her tears.
"Do-do you ever know someone, someone who you like so much yet they are completely blind to it?" she asked.
"No." the prince said. "But i can guess you know."
The princess sniffed.
"I never knew it would hurt so much." she said before the onslaught of tears came again.
She barely took in the fact that the prince drew her around and held her hand tightly. It wasn't much, but the friendly grasp of his hand calmed her down enough to stop crying. When she did, the prince smiled and he wiped her tears away softly.
"That's better," he teased. "You don't look nice when you cry."
The princess managed to crack a genuine smile.
"Thank you," she said gratefully.
The prince shook his head.
"You are different from any princess I've known." he said thoughtfully.
"Are you betrothed?" she asked curiously.
"No. I don't believe in betrothing myself to someone i don't love." he said.
"And who doesn't love you back." she added quickly.
The prince laughed.
"And that." He adjusted his tunic carefully. "You are filled with sadness, princess."
"I am."
"Perhaps, i can help you." he asked.
"You cannot."
"How do you know? For one, i helped to make you feel much better now." he pointed out.
The princess sighed.
"I never meant for anyone to see that." she said.
"But here we are. I'm not asking to help you as a suitor, but as a friend. Would you grant me that?" he asked.
The princess regarded him carefully. She never thought of that, but maybe he was right. Maybe he could help her get rid of her pain. There was no hope in loving her friend, and he can help. She should give him a chance.
"Alright." she smiled. "I will."
The prince beamed.
"I promise you, princess. I will help you."

Ever ever after

2010-06-29T04:51:00.001-07:00

Once upon a time, there lived a lonely girl on the mountain side. She never knew her parents, and she lived with only her black cat. One winter, the food all shrivelled up and there was none left for her to eat. Hence, she went back into her cottage, disappointed and sad.She knew that if they did not find enough food, they would starve and perish. Just then, her cat jumped up onto her lap and stared at her intently in the eye. Then, to her utmost surprise, the cat licked her paw and sat down nonchalantly.
"We need to leave, my fair lady." it announced in a gravelly voice.
The girl blinked back her surprise.
"But to where? We know no one." she said sadly.
The cat butted her with its sleek head, fixing her with a stare.
"But we have to. Go, and we shall find our way in the world we belong in."
The girl considered for a moment, and agreed. If they stayed on, they would just perish. Quickly, she packed in a few clothes and a handful of gold she had found in her drawers. Wrapping a thick cloak around her and her cat, she travelled down the rocky slope and towards the city.

In town, the prince was throwing a ball. He had to get married soon, for the king was in ill health and he only had three days from next month to find a princess worthy of the kingdom. He was dreading every minute towards it. The princesses from all over the world were snobbish and totally spoilt. He needed a princess who could help him run the kingdom, who could rule in his place should he fail. But where was he going to get one?

When the girl reached the town, she was in a miserable state. All her clothes had been torn and she knew no one. Literally, she had no experience in interacting with any other person. In the town, she was frightened. The loud voices were piercing her eardrums and she couldn't think straight. Scared, she ran to a corner and shut her ears. At night, she was woken by her cat. He was nudging her with his nose.
"Lady, you need to get clothes." it said gently.
"But its so terrifying." she wimpered.
The cat licked her cheek.
"I'm with you, lady. Go to the streets now, and someone may help you."
So, the girl got up reluctantly and moved out on the streets.

The prince wanted some time alone. He had four hours before the next ball started and he was vexed by the amount of hope his advisors were placing on him. Purposefully, he sneaked out of the castle and went down to the streets. It was peaceful, with no busy people hurrying about in the night. Then, he saw a girl. She looked bedragged, with a sleek black cat walking beside her. Her clothes were torn and her face was brusied and dirty. Her hair was silver blond, but they lay in a matted heap behind, held up with only one string. But her look stuck immense pity in him. She looked bewildered, and totally lost! Then he remembered a story, of the mountain girl who lives alone with....he glanced at the cat. The cat looked at ease with the town, and he was the one guiding the girl with encouraging mews.

The girl stopped in her tracks. There was a boy in front, and he was staring at her. She skittered backwards, afraid. She had never had contact with anyone before. But the boy imperceptibly made his way here. He stopped just in front of her.
"Why are you here?" he asked gently.
The girl felt sobs coming on, because she was so scared.
"My home is no more." she said brokenly.
The boy took another slow step forward and he took her cold hand in his warm ones. Then, she recognized the golded insigna on his tunic, and she snatched her hand away.
"You're...you're from the palace!" her voice rose.
"Sshhh!" he whispered and he took her hand carefully again. "Don't be afraid. I can help you. Do you trust me?"
The girl hesitated. He was frightening, but friendly. She nodded.

The prince pulled the covers of the blanket over the girl carefully. She looked so fragile and breakable. She was so relieved to have a warm bath, and she was asleep before he could say anything. Carefully, he stroked her cheek. She was beautiful. Just then, her cat hissed. He snatched his hand away quickly. The cat stalked up to in front of him and it snarled.
"Do anything to my lady and i will shred you to bits," it hissed.
The prince stumbled back.
"You can talk!" he gasped.
The cat looked bored. "Yes, and so can you. Now, tell me, what is your purpose for bringing my mistress here?" it demanded.
The prince cautiously regarded the cat.
"She needed help."
The cat looked at him.
"Fine. Give it to her. She needs more than just care you know," and he whisked out of the window.

The girl woke up to see the boy laying a tray of warm food on the table.
"You're awake?" he asked, smiling.
The girl nodded shyly. She slid off the bed to the table. Then, she noticed something on the boy's head. A golden crown, shining with rubies and teardop diamonds. She dropped her gaze to him. Though she never lived among people, she had learned their ways from the books.
"Why did you help me?" she asked.
"You needed help." he said simply.
The girl sat down on the seat.
The boy looked tired, there were dark circles under his eyes.
"Matters of the state stressing you out?" she asked gaily.
The prince looked startled.
"Yes; how do you know?" he asked.
The girl shrugged. She looked out of the window.
"So you have like, balls and everything?"
"Yes, I do."
The girl looked at him wistfully.
"I shouldn't impose on you then. I mean, it is awful of me to stay here." she said decidedly.

The prince stared at her in surprise. Perhaps it was due to his exposure to spoilt princesses, but this girl was amazing him. Don't all damsels want a prince to save them? Yet here she was, trying to save herself. And this girl was as every bit as a princess there is, even better than the actual ones.
"No," he was surprise at the amount of conviction in his voice. "I'm going to take care of you." he said.
The girl shook her head. "You are busy, and you haven't been getting enough sleep."
"But you need help. Let me guess, I am the first person you have interacted with. You live in the mountains, right?" he asked.
He smiled at her apparent blush.
"So you see? You need my help, and i can give it." He said.
The girl thought about that.
"Fine. But within a month, I will go."
"No problem." the prince chuckled. He doubt she would need that long.

The next day, he showed her everything he could. The flowers, the sun here, the markets, the maids, the knights, the people. Everything his life was made of, he gave her. He brought her to small parties, gave her the best dresses...and soon enough, the prince found that he had given his heart. The girl could understand his troubles, and she had helped him with the problems by offerring simple suggestions. She could understand the towns better than he could, and she was an excellent hostess. She was....he thought. Everything he needed and wanted. Soon enough, a month past and it was time for her to leave, and for the balls to start.

The girl was in love with the prince. He was so strong, so warm, so caring. He cared totally about his Kingdom and he was filial to his parents. It pained her much to see him struggle with his work and she wished that she could help him badly. But she had promised him that she would leave. But deep inside her heart, she wished that she could go to the ball. So, on that night, instead of getting her things ready, she sat there and stared out of the window. She wanted to go to the ball, to be with him but she couldn't. Just then, the cat jumped through the window, a silver dress rolled up in a ball in its mouth.
"Go for it," the cat meowed, and it left.
The girl stared at it in amazement.

The prince was so tired. He wanted to just leave the ball, but he couldn't. It was his duty and he needed to fufill it. As the dance finally ended, he leaned against the wall, exhausted. Then, he saw her. The girl, absolutely beautiful in her silver dress and her curls framing her porcelain face. She glided down the stairway gently, and she was looking at him. Her eyes were so gentle and so beautiful that it made him want to cry. Heads turned towards her but she was oblivious to them. Carefully, she made her way towards him and took his cold him in his warm ones, as he did so many days ago. She drew him towards the centre of the ballroom and slowly, they danced to the waltz.
"You haven't left." he breathed.
"No, i haven't." she smiled, her eyes dancing.

The girl was practically exploding with happiness, to be holding him, to be touching him. She never wanted to leave him, and she couldn't bear to.
"Why?" he asked.
She looked down.
"I didn't want to leave you," she said softly.
The prince tighened his hold around her.
"Then don't." he whispered.
She looked up at him.
"Can i? Can i really stay here?"
"You can." He took a deep breath.
"I love you. I love you so much that it hurts to see you leave."
The girl smiled.
"I love you too."

A smile

2010-06-26T20:01:00.000-07:00

Okay, I'm happy again:)

Once upon a time, in a land far far away, there lived a princess. Unlike the many princesses of her time, she was often scorned and left behind in the society because she wasn't pretty. She was average-looking, with pale brown hair that wouldn't curl no matter what and a plain face with a swarm of freckles on her nose. Her eyes were of chocolate brown, and though they weren't magnificently sapphire or emerald, they could flash with a regal light that no other princess could compare. But this beauty of hers was rarely seen, because to top it all off, the King didn't allow her to leave the palace grounds for fear that she might come to harm. So, all their parties were held in the Kingdom, and very few attended it. But the princess lived a simple and contented lifestyle, finding solace in the near-magical garden in the grounds and befriended the guards and the maids. From them, she earned a great deal of respect for she was kind and gentle, not like the other spoilt princesses.
One day, on her sixteenth birthday, the King decided to throw a ball in her name. This time, many came on hearing that it is during this ball that the next crown prince will be chosen. The princes came with high hopes of gaining a throne and the princesses, because of the princes. Meanwhile, the princess was petrified. She had barely interacted with anyone except for her warm, cheery friends and now, she was faced with over hundreds of people.
But on that day, she gathered her courage and donned her birthday present from the seamstress; a silver gown that wrapped around her frame nicely with rosebuds pulling up silk here and there. As she stood in front of the mirror, she tried to collect herself, she was aware of the bustle of noise gathering outside. Its okay, she thought hopefully. My friends will be there with me. It is going to be okay. And she went out.
By midnight, the princess was drained. She had never danced with so many princes in her life, and they didn't seem to care about her. They all seemed caught up in their own lives, or the title of crown prince. Tired, she slipped away to the great spiral staircase to rest, leaning her head against the cool marble of the bannisters.
"Are you alright?" a familiar voice made her raise her head.
It was the archer, a friend she had made when she way young. He was a good one, and around eighteen if she wasn't wrong.
"Yes," she shifted so he could sit beside her. "I'm just tired from the ball."
"Ah," he wrinkled his nose in disgust. "Princes in tight breeches. Yuck."
The princess laughed.
"They do have high hopes though," she said a little sadly.
"Uncaring lads. I presume you haven't had fun?" he raised an eyebrow.
"Fun?" this got another laugh out of her. "Balls aren't meant to be fun."
"Well, i can change that," he jumped to his feet, holding out his hand.
"May i?"
The princess giggled, and took it.
With the melody of the music that wafted through the walls, he twirled her around carefully. But both of them made many mistakes and they stepped on each other feet many times. This got them laughing until the music ended.
"So princess," he smiled as they rubbed their sore feet. "Was that fun?"
"Very." she said shyly.
"Thank you. Its nice having you here."
"I'll always be here princess," he chuckled. "So next time, if you need to have some fun, you can find me." he said, his green eyes meeting hers.
"I will."
The princess smiled, a smile that only the archer could get out of her.

i hate this.

2010-06-26T19:29:00.000-07:00

Ever felt suspended between happiness and utter sadness? Like, you are soooo happy, and totally downcast at another time! Its killing me alright? Gosh! I want to just escape you know, into some other weird land. Its so irritating me! Someone help me! PLEASE! I DON'T WANT THIS!:(
Prefect duties are starting. I'm taking a sec four class, the worse nightmare in my life. I hate duties, no offence cos i can't do it. Its killing me, alright? Its not whether my allegiance is to the prefectorial board first or not. I'd rather go onto stage every other day, and do assembly. This is how much duties are suffocating me. I have so many responsibilities and i am DYING. LITERALLY, AND I KNOW BECAUSE I DO TAKE LITERATURE.
And...something else. Please, don't do that to me. It hurts alright. Its my sec one nightmare replaying all over again! DON'T DO THAT! I BEG YOU!

its raining. Ironic ain't it, that i used to believe that rain was good luck for me. How dumb i was. as usual.

The Beach

2010-06-24T03:37:00.000-07:00

His eyes sparkled as he beheld the sea beneath his green gaze, the colour not different from the crashing wave. I watched as the playful sea breeze caught the edge of his unbuttoned shirt, tossing the white patterns around under the sun. I moved up behind him softly, feeling my toes sink into the warm, fine sand. The sound of the waves was soothing and silent at the same time, fading into the perfect background. I carefully sat down beside him, taking merticulous care not to disturb him in his thinking. I noticed that he had his palms facing the water, letting the salty concoction rush over his fingers and onto his lap. Where he sat, the sand around him was erroding outwards. There were a line of freckles down the bridge of his nose, giving him a boyish look. Then, quite alarmingly, he looked up at me and smiled. He reached out to take my hand and he held it underwater. Another cool breeze passed us and i heard the faint echos of children screaming and having fun in the water. His smile stretched even further and he pulled me to my feet, moving off towards the rocky hanging by the deserted end of the beach. I took in the gentle slopes of the ancient hangings and saw a small hole in. I raised an eyebrow questioningly. He smiled and pulled me forward.
After much squeezing, we managed to get through the hole and carefully, he pulled me into his arms, resting his head on mine. I heard the soft swishing of the waves against the rocks and the i raised a finger to touch the water with wonder. The water was no longer green, but crystal blue. Sighing contentedly, i leaned back against him and closed my eyes.

Ever Ever After

2010-06-22T04:30:00.000-07:00

"Ever Ever After"

Storybook endings, fairy tales coming true
Deep down inside we want to believe they still do
In our secretest heart, it's our favourite part of the story
Let's just admit we all want to make it too

Ever ever after
If we just don't get it our own way
Ever ever after
It may only be a wish away

Start a new fashion, wear your heart on your sleeve
Sometimes you reach what's real just by making believe
Unafraid, unashamed
There is joy to be claimed in this world
You even might wind up being glad to be you

Ever ever after
Though the world will tell you it's not smart

Ever ever after
The world can be yours if you let your heart
Believe in ever after

No wonder your heart feels it's flying
Your head feels it's spinning
Each happy ending's a brand new beginning
Let yourself be enchanted, you just might break through

To ever ever after
Forever could even start today
Ever ever after
Maybe it's just one wish away
Your ever ever after

(I've been dreaming of a true love's kiss)

Oh, for ever ever after

happy birthday!

2010-06-22T04:08:00.000-07:00

Birthdays are awesome, especially when you spend them with your awesomest friends ever!

"Oh my goodness!" Tasha gasped as she saw the cake coming.
The cake was beautiful, with chocolate coating and the candles bright and cheery, dripping wax softly, in hum with the birthday song.
"Happy birthday, Tash!" her best friend, Helen, smiled, nudging her towards the cake.
"Its..its for me?" she gasped, as her dance friends, Natalie and Rainbow, carried the cake carefully.
"Yes!" she laughed and pulled me forward.
"Oh guys.." Tasha was breathless and amazed. She was so touched!
"Happy birthday, Tash!" Rainbow squealed and pulled her into a big hug.
"Oh gosh..." she was still speechless.
No one had ever done this for her before, and she never felt so happy. Something seemed to be glowing hot inside her, and she quickly stifled it. She musn't cried now. Not now, not again! She will not burst into tears like she did last year!
"it's your birthday too, Cherry!" she said, looking for her.
Together, they both made their wishes, blew their candles and cut the awesome cake.
On her way home, Tasha was still amazed and happy. This was the best birthday present she had ever received, like ever! Then, she caught the sight of a familiar silouette. Curious, she skittered around the corner and came face to face with Josh.
"Oh," he looked abashed. "Happy birthday girl," he said, giving her a big hug.
"Hey!" she smiled. "Thanks!"
Josh wasn't one to be...physical in his affections so this was a surprise for her too.
"So," what are you doing here?" she asked.
He rarely came around this alley and that puzzled her.
"Oh," he looked more bashful. "Just wanted to give you your birthday present," he said gruffly, producing a pretty box.
"Oh, oh gosh thank you!" Tasha smiled. This was like the best birthday present ever! "I love it already!" she swooned.
Josh's face broke into a smile.
"But you haven't even seen it yet."
"I don't need to," she said shyly.
Josh leaned down and pressed his lips against her cheek:)
"Happy birthday."

p.s: the first part was kinda real with a little tinkering. THE SECOND ONE DEFINITELY ISN'T! BUT i like my stories to end with a happy ending so...yeah:) Thank you all for your wishes!

the black and white bride

2010-06-15T21:02:00.000-07:00

Story is adapted from the Grimm Brothers, :"the black and white bride". Edited my me:)

Once upon a time, there lived a girl. Her father had died when she was young, leaving her at the mercy of her stepmother and her step sister. Her step sister was pretty, but there was something about her features, like the way her eyes were slanted just like a cat's, which told that she was more then just a beauty. The girl was treated like a slave. But over the years, her beauty grew, and her step sister grew jealous, for she had grown up being called the beauty, and now, her sister was overtaking. She poured her woes out to her mother, and together, they hatched a plan. The mother never liked the girl and would liked nothing better than to get rid of her, but her husband had made her swear, and her hands were tied. So, she and her daughter staged an act of innocence, as at night, they poured hot water down the girl's face and disfigured her.
And from then, the girl was shunned by many for her face was blistered and burned, and at night, she wept for the burns hurt, and she was lonely. Her brother could do nothing to help, and he felt sorrow that pierced his heart everyday.
One day, the girl was out collecting firewood with her mother and sister when this knight, dishelleved and weary, stopped by to ask for directions to the nearest village. The mother and daughter refused, for they felt themselves more worthy than the lowly soldier. But the girl, being kind, showed the knight the way. She was glad that for once, someone didn't shun her. When they reached the village, the knight revealed to her that he was no ordinary knight, but an angel. He told her that because of her mother and sister's actions, they have been turned black, as ugly as crows. But her, for she had been so kind and helpful, can ask for three wishes.
The girl thought hard. Her first wish, was for the burns to go away, for they hurt her terribly and made her live in loneliness. The angel agreed, and removed the burns and gave her the gift of an etherel beauty. Her second wish was to leave her horrible step mother and sister, to go off and live with her brother a peaceful life, and the angel gave her the purse of ever-flowing gold to help with her leave. Her third wish, was to have a place in heaven for her, for it was her very wish to go up there one day. The angel granted her that and he left.
The girl went back and she found her mother and sister crying by the river at their horrible reflections. Quietly, she told her brother what happened, and they left.
They lived a well life after that, and the brother took up art. After months of practise, he painted his first portrait, of his sister's beauty. He informed the girl of his choice to go to the palace to become the king's painter. The girl agreed, and gave him her purse of gold coins to help him.
A year passed and she joined the court. There, the crown prince fell in love with her and courted her endlessly. But the girl spurned his advances, for all she knew, it was her beauty that he was after only. One day, the prince caught her by the lake near the palace.
"Melody?" she jumped at the sound of the prince's voice.
"Your highness!" she gasped, getting up immediately. She didn't know that he had come. She was staring at her reflection absentmindedly, for she was imagining a life without what she had now, living a life of absolute peace perhaps.
"Thinking of how beautiful you are?" he teased as he sat on the rock beside her.
"No." she said softly, turning back to that reflection of hers.
"Then?" he tossed her a penny. "tell me what you're thinking," he said.
Melody smiled.
"You are the prince. I can't deny you anything." she said.
"Then what are you waiting for?" he asked.
Melody sighed. She touched her cheek.
"Will you believe me, that once upon a time, i was ugly beyond comparison?" she asked, and half expected the prince to laugh. But he just sat there, his eyes on her. And it was then, did she blurt out the story that she had kept from everyone else for such a long time.
When she was done, she expected the prince to be looking at her in disgust, or withdrawn, but little did she expect him to reach out and take her hand.
"I didn't know that your life was so..." he trailed off, lost for words.
Melody smiled and dropped her eyes, her heart pounding at the touch of his warm hand.
"Well, would it be too much to ask if i take the imprudence to take care of you?" he asked.
Melody's head jerked up.
The prince looked almost shy.
"Melody, your effect on people..its almost magic. Its not just your looks. Your demeanour, your ways...they make people feel so much more..serene." he smiled.
"Really?"
"Yes." now, he was definitely looking shy. "When i first saw you, i was taken away already. Even when i saw just your portrait." he said.
"My...oh. My brother." she said in dismay. She had told him not to show anyone that picture!
"Don't blame him," the prince said hurriedly. "I...i just want you to know that i want to take care of you. if...you mind?"
Melody felt her lips lifting in a smile. "You are the prince, you can have anything you want." she said.
"No-that wasn't what i m-"
"Yes, your highness," she interrupted. "Yes, you can take care of me."

Part one( do you believe?)

2010-06-15T04:56:00.000-07:00

When you start doubting in happily ever afters, what more do you need, than a spritz of it?:)

Do you ever believe in fairytales? I mean, don't you ever want to know if there can ever be something called a happy ending? I didn't at first...until i met him.
I never noticed him. He was there, in the background, but i never talked to him, never shared a sentence, no nothing. I was pretty much used to my life now; it was just like a tape recording. It went round, and round, and round. Nothing changing, nothing moving, nothing interesting. Sure, i had my friends, but it was such a monotone. And i absolutely do not believe in fairytales. I can't stand those girls. The ditzy ones who go head over heels at the hottest jocks, or the ones who drift through the hallway with a dreamy expression because the guy of their dreams just kissed them..or whatever! It was so dumb. Reality check: nothing ever goes right. If there was something like a happily ever after, i would eat my pants. That was what i had thought. Then.
Drew was a quiet guy. A guy that was good looking, but was far too soft spoken to get noticed by the cheerleaders or those fairytale girls. The usual target for bullies to shut in the locker, to blackmail...etc..etc. I didn't bother about him too. I mean, i was used to my life. A life of a typical blond hair, blue-eyed girl. Until...
"Take that, loser!" i heard a shuffle, the sound of sneakers squeaking and the slam of a locker door. Hard.
"Let me out!" someone was pleading.
"In your dreams, loser." i remembered that voice. Billy, the loser jock. The one that had to resort to stunts to get the spotlight. He usually failed. But you get what i mean.
I followed the voice to the empty locker room. I still heard the shuffling and i held back. I was small built, and believe me, i knew how terrible Billy and his lackeys could be. And Lila, my best friend, was already at class. I was no match for them, so i had no choice but to wait. I heard the sound of pigs laughing, then the door opening and them chortling down the hallway. Someone was still banging on the locker door, trying to get out. Once the coast was clear, i slipped in. I was going to get into trouble, but who cares.
"Hello?" i called as i entered the loacker room. The locker room was huge, naturally, being the home of all the lockers of the students in highschool.
The banging stopped.
"Yes? Can you help me out?"
"Where are you?" i asked, trying to locate his voice.
"Here!" more banging.
I ran towards the locker, and yanked it open. Okay, i wasn't exactly well-built. And in it was no other than Drew.
"Thanks," he gasped as he stumbled out. He seemed confused, and he couldn't seem to stand properly.
"Careful there," i said, grabbing onto his arm to help him.
"Thanks," he said gratefully, and his eyes met mine to reflect what he felt.
I felt a rush of heat to my cheeks, and i looked down quickly.
"Are you okay?" i asked, trying not to look too concerned.
"Yeah, I'm fine. The locker was just a little claustrophobic..." he trailed off and i felt a shiver rush through his body.
"You're scared of a locker?" i couldn't help but smile at that sight.
"No!" he said a little too quickly.
I laughed and released his arm a little reluctantly.
"I guess we have to go bacl to class then," i said.
Drew nodded.
"Thanks...Noelle." he said.
I nodded, a thrill running through my body when he said my name. I ran out.

Our meeting wasn't about to end just yet. We shared a class together; History. On Thursday, our teacher announced a project in pairwork, and almost immediately, the class broke up into murmuring, choosing their partners. Great, i thought. Lila didn't have this class, and now, i was partner-less again. Until everyone was done and i would have to go with some person i didn't know an inkling about. Then, i saw Drew. His eyes met mine again, and i saw him beckon towards me with one finger.
I got up and went over.
"Yeah." i asked, my heart thumping a little more harder.
"Nothing," he smiled. "Just thought if you wanted to be partners." his smile was affecting my concentration problems.
"Um..."
"So its settled then," he finished. He patted the seat down beside him. "Come on, we have loads to discuss." he smiled.
I felt my lips lifting as well. "Sure."

I was going to love this project.

to be continued.

You can do this:)

2010-06-14T06:31:00.000-07:00

This...is a simple run down on how i feel everyday. It's living hell at times. But i will go on.

Am i really that bad? Sapphire thought sadly as she studied herself in the mirror. What good points did she had that led her to become the president of the magazine? The teachers were just plain blind! She was soft spoken, lacked the usual commanding tones of a good leader, and she couldn't even socialize well enough to make friends for crying out loud. And she couldn't even carry out a conversation with a fellow friend without thinking up ten other good reasons why she felt that way, blah blah blah. It was so scary, and she was so conscious all the time! Her only good point was writing, and sure, it helped with the magazine editing but now, her over analyze way too much! Just how on earth did she get chosen to be the president!
And it wasn't as if she was very prominent in the school society. It was clear enough that her predecessors preferred the vice president of the club and they didn't wish her luck, not one of them. Fine, she thought, i know i'm not up to the standard, but can't you at least be nice and at hide the fact that you don't like me? But then again, they probably didn't know that she knew that they knew.
Now, it had even taken her to the stage where she felt that she looked like absolute crap! Her black hair was too straight, with no volume, the annoying ability to straighten the locks she tried to curl unsuccessfully, and they grew so slowly! And her eye bags. Sure, she had been having them since young, and they made her look so gaunt and ragged. And now, with the added responsilbilty of the presidentship. she looked like she was going to pass out any day. She got so hungry so often, she wondered if it was the after-effects of her weariness, or just the mentality of finding something to use to relax. She looked so weak, so vulnerable...so pathetic!
Then, another dismaying thought flash into my mind. She didn't just have the leadership position of the magazine club, she had it of the cheerleading squad as well! Oh for crying out loud, did she even look like cheerleading material? It was so stupid! And she had joined cheerleading for the fun of dancing and guess what? Becomeing the cheerleading captain did nothing but increase her burden that was already killing her slowly. And above all, she had the added weight if her counsellor-ship. At this point, Sapphire was ready to wail out loud. What was her life coming to? Total desperation? She had nothing now. Nothing at all! I should just die, she thought savagely. Everything was dark and bleak and hopeless. She sank onto the wooden floor, the tears spilling out of her eyes down her crappy face.
No. This loud voice echoed in her head, willing her towards the light. Sapphire, the voice said. You have to go on. You can do this. They chose you for a reason, and if you give up on yourself, everything will fall after that. "But I'm useless!" she cried. NO. The voice came on louder. It was a mixture of her friends voices...alternating from her best buds....like Blair, Tasher, Alice, Audrey, and Balye. They all had faith in her. They knew that she could do it. But how could she lift up to their expectations when she couldn't even look up to her own?
Look, the voice said softly. You can do this. Its your life, you have command over it. And if you give up, you will die. Literally. Everything dies with you. You have to have faith in you. You have your friends. You can do this.
Sapphire sniffed and pushed her limp hair off her sweaty face. She can do this. She must.

help help help!!!

2010-06-13T06:56:00.000-07:00

it feels great to dance ballet again! Going on pointe and stuff...getting an lcd tv, a laptop, writing stories, but somehow, i don't feel right. Like something is missing in my life. It's as if i've lost something. Everyday is like a dream. something broke inside me, fractured, and left me in my dreams. I'm afraid, so frightened and terrified. And i know the cause, the holidays, it seems, to have opposite effects on me. I am unable to adapt just well enough to carry on with my usual life. No fairytales can come to me, no nothing. It is a scary thing, and now, i'm scared. i lost the focus of my life, and i don't even know what it is! Oh gosh, i am so puzzled! now, the story thinking i do during the school days seem much more real than my present life, and i come to realize that..... I need my friends. Thats why i'm stuck in this nightmare. I need them, and the stress that comes with it. Oh god, help me. What kinda crappy life am i living!!!???!!!

When you can never sleep..

2010-06-08T20:52:00.000-07:00

When you read an influx of books, ideas start to roll by like a tornado, and i mean it. Its kinda like a frightening thing and you basically, can't sleep. So, because there's this book which makes me realize something, i went to separate the kind of guys i like, and the kind of guys i like to write about because after writing so many love stories, you tend to get a little...you know, muddled up there because when you write, you tend to need to pretend to be the main character and when you go on the street, you starting looking at people and thinking, "Hey! This guy is perfect for this!" or "This is awesome for that!" and you get confused and believe me, it is not a pretty thing. So, i sorted myself out last night. I looked back at all my er...crushes and i came up with this diagnostic report. Okay. This is weird but i need to clear my head out of crap before i can relax. Oh crap, i can't say it like that. Oh yes! Okay, I'll just use a story:)

Noelle leaned against her locker, feeling miserable and tired. Her day had been unmistakable dull and nothing could make her day any brighter anymore. She was convinced of this. Literally, because a heavy downpour had started. Then, she saw him. Tall, lanky and alone, just like her. He was by his locker, slipping his books into the silver compartments. Noelle leaned her head backwards, sighing. For what reason, she had no idea. Ever since the rain started, she had been feeling positively negative. She studied him carefully. He seemed down as well, yet he seemed to be hiding something. Under all that collective coolness, and casual laughter with his friends in class, she always felt as though it was a facade for something. Like, he was using it to prevent anyone from seeing anything. Only now did she see that brief drop of that mask. He didn't just seem down, he looked miserable. Something was constraining him, holding him back, and her heart nearly broke then, because he looked so vulnerable then. She had never felt this way about him before...he was always annoying, a pain, an irritant but until then, she never realised that all the things that he did was...was to hide something.
"Did you hear?" she heard a snicker from the group who was standing right beside her. The popular group, though she didn't really talk to them.
"What?" a girl asked, her blond curls jumping.
"He," the boy jerked his head towards the direction of him. "is going to a chalet. That's why he gets to skip school so early." he scorned.
I wrenched my head back towards him. He should be happy, shouldn't he? Why is he still so sad? Then, his phone rang. Across the noisy hallway, she could actually hear him.
"Yes, I'm going now," his voice was full of annoyance.
She pricked her ears.
She saw as his face turned into stone, into hatred.
"I know that i have no personal responsibility. I get it." he said, his eyes focusing on somewhere she couldn't see.
Noelle felt her heart wrench. Very badly.

No Magic.

2010-06-06T21:26:00.000-07:00

Hahaha I'm at amelia's house now,and I'm watching harry potter! This is damm cool cos i didn't know that my wireless could work! Yahoo!!! hahaha okay then, a little story then:)

Once upon a time, in a land far, far away, there lived a princess in a castle. Back then, magic was everywhere, and it nourished the land, giving it life, helping flowers to bloom and crops to flourish. But this princess, she was born without the magic. She felt the pain everytime she saw her younger siblings wave their magic, the shower of sparks and glittering crystals that floated in the air. All she could do was to smile and say that everything was alright. It pained her greatly, and one day, she went out to explore, and to find the reason why she couldn't do her magic.

As soon as she travelled out, she found a branch that could actually talk. It was old and gnarled, and looked of great wisdom. It told her that whatever she seeks ahead, great danger lies and it advised her to turn back. However, the princess was determined to find out the reason for her deviation and she pressed on.

A month passed and she grew more and more sure that she would never find out. She had been to villages, towns, kingdoms, places of worship and she didn't manage to find out anything! Her store of silver was almost depleted and she felt so tired and weary. That night, she travelled into a misty forest, hoping to find help. However, she was so tired that she fell asleep under a great tree, covering herself with the great leaves.

The next morning, she awoke to find herself under a stone ridge. She sat up immediately, startled. As such, her forehead collided with the gray stone. Rubbing her head painfully, she looked up to see the stone full of writing. And it wasn't just any writing. It was full of the Ancient Language. Their graceful arches and curves spoke of something powerful, and though the princess could not figure them out, she knew that they were full of power and that it was dangerous. Full with wonder, she reached out and touched the writing feverently. As soon as her fingers came in contact with the writing, they flared gold and suddenly, the whole ridge glowed in warm light. Then, she heard a grinding noise and suddenly, the ground vibrated and a square hole appeared.

The princess held back for a while, afraid that if she touched it, it would swallow her up. However, it didn't. Instead, she saw a winding staircase that led down to the darkness. The princess only deliberated for a moment before she made her way down. Before she went, she wished that she had magic, for with it, she could have made light so she wouldn't feel so scared. But she had a feeling that something was there for her at the bottom of the stairwell. So, she reached out and plucked out a branch of thyme to bring it down with her.

As she went deeper and deeper, she began to feel more and more scared. Then, her foot hit the last step. Suddenly, the place she was in illuminated with pure light. She closed her eyes, for the light was too bright. She felt the radiance of it, and realised that it was pure magic. The magic that people held only had a fraction of this, for this magic was kind, loving and everything that she loved. When the light died down, she no longer felt afraid, but at peace, for she knew that magic was not what made a person.

Then, she noticed a book lying on a rock filled with similar writing. Carefully, she opened it. There, she saw her life written in gold. It spoke of her future destiny, for her lack of magic will save her Kingdom. There will be a time where magic will disappear of the face of the earth, and people will perish because of their inability to live without it. Then, the princess recognized her destiny. She was the crown princess of her Kingdom. She was to work out a way to live without magic, and when she became Queen. No one would die, and no one will suffer.

With this conviction in mind, she set off back to her Kingdom, to save her people.

The Shot(part seven)

2010-05-30T01:42:00.000-07:00

You are not going to cry, Elizabeth told herself fiercely. But her tears wouldn't listen to her. They defied her outright, flowing down her cheeks rapidly, cooling off in the winter air. Her limbs were locked there, no, she forced her limbs to stay there, unmoving as he regarded her coldly just beyond the boundary line. She felt pain coming, whooshing through her till she wished she could just shrivel up and die there and then. Seeing him as an enemy was worse, more painful than that night where she left him. She knew he was hurting too, because he was the one who let her go. But he was always the better actor, and now, she believed his acting. Jeevan stood there, his arms crossed as he gazed coldly at her, as though he wanted nothing better than to rip her throat out. And coming from Jeevan, it hurt really badly.
"Well?" his voice echoed off the trees, making her wince. There were guards around on either side, hidden to protect their respective prince and princess.
"How do you like it better?" she flinched at his tone. "Getting into my palace and befriending every knight before returning, making everyone miserable?" he demanded.
"I..."
"And then putting everyone on the brink of pain, having to know that they have to fight their supposed mistress that they all have come to love and respect? And knowing that she would kill them without any thought on her part?" he taunted.
"No-"
"How does it feel? To make me suffer like this? To force me to kill you? To stand there with that jerk, cowering behind him? You know all my secrets now. They know my kingdom inside out. Is this what you hoped to achieve?"
"Jeevan!" Elizabeth cried. She felt guilt weigh down on her badly, but she had to tell him one point. "Your...your secrets...i never ever told anyone." she said, choking.
She saw a little something flash in his eyes, before they reverted back to stone.
"And you expect me to return your love now?" he continued with his taunting.
More tears coursed down her cheeks. She knew that this was his only way of reliving his pain. He would not take it out on his subjects or even his enemy. Only her. And she didn't mind as long as he would feel better. And she longed to be taken prisoner again, to be in his dungeons gladly as long as she didn't have to hurt any of them, any of the friends she had made during her imprisonment there.
"I never asked for...for that."
"Then what?" he yelled, his face the mask of anguish and pain. "After all you did to me. Every hug you gave me, every time i entered the room, your eyes would light up with such...such happiness. Was this your plan? To learn about my weakness, before tormenting me?" the snow fell harder.
Elizabeth reached out an arm unconsciously, her heart wrenching in the pain that he was inflicting upon her.
"Every time you told me you loved me, every kiss, every caress, was it not real? That it was all a ploy to bring me down?" he was crying now.
Elizabeth heard a gasp behind, for she knew that Thomas heard. He didn't know that she loved Jeevan, and now he did. Before she knew it, she heard the taut bow string being drawn. Immediately, she ran across the boundary line, putting herself in front of Jeevan. She heard twenty strings being drawn behind Jeevan but that wasn't her main concern now. Her eyes were on Thomas, who appeared from the bushes.
"No!" Jeevan yelled at his men. She knew that all of them had their bows drawn at her.
"Thomas, put it down." she commanded.
Thomas' face was a painting of disbelief and pain. "That's why you don't want to tell me anything about him. You lovedhim, all this while." he snarled.
Elizabeth spread her hands out, shielding Jeevan from her best friend. "You won't hurt him." she shouted, her heart thumping.
"Elizabeth! Get away! He's going to hurt you!" Jeevan hissed, his hands pushing her away.
Thomas' eyes widened, and he loosed the arrow.
Jeevan growled and pushed himself in front of her.
"NO!"
The arrow hit.
"No, Jeevan!" Elizabeth tried to hold him as he tumbled to the floor, the arrow on his shoulder, dangerously close to the heart.
He fell onto the snow, gasping while his warm blood flowed out swiftly and reaching the snow with a hiss.
"Jeevan!" she cried righting his head on her lap. Soldiers filed from behind, forming a cirle around them, their arrows drawn on Thomas, glaring, but that wasn't her main worry.
"You'll be alright." she sobbed, fresh tears trickling down her face, her hands ripping out the hem of her skirt to staunch his bleeding. The blood flowed in an alarming rate, staining her hands rapidly.
Jeevan pushed her hands away weakly, his hand finding hers.
"I'm sorry," he whispered.
"No!" Elizabeth shook her head. "You're going to be alright." she soothed him, her hands wiping his tears away, tears that came because he had hurt her just now.
A faint smile came onto his face despite the pain in his shoulder. He was growing paler by the second, and she could hear the faint footsteps of the healer.
"No..." she whispered as he started to close his eyes. "No, stay with me, stay with me Jeevan!" she said, panic rising in her voice.
Jeevan opened his eyes. He raised his hand and brushed her cheek. She could feel the warm blood.
"I love you. Please...please forgive me." he said so softly.
Elizabeth shook her head. "I love you too. Please, please hang in there. For me. Please!" she begged. She couldn't loose him. No, she couldn't!

my fairytale scene

2010-05-30T01:17:00.000-07:00

Isn't it a wish to just lie in a clean meadow, with butterflies dancing around gracefully while you stare at a statue, illuminated by the soft sunlight? Just like one in a fairytale, where there are no worries, no pain, no sadness, but happiness

Words.

2010-05-30T00:51:00.000-07:00

well, i just read a book today titled, "Ophelia". And it was a sort of book taken from the account of Hamlet written by the awesomest Shakesphere in the perspective of Ophelia, the wife of Hamlet. And well...one of the reasons that i loved it is that Ophelia believed that words can make a difference, that is to say, words hold power. I could hi-5 her on that part. Nowadays, people underestimate the power of language. Not just english, mind you. French, Latin, Chinese...all these, when well-harnessed can have enough power to start a World War. Example? Hitler. Yeah, the one who was good with WORDS. These days, people think that only what matters on the outside, which is to say, looks, is important but i disagree on that part. Not to say that it doesn't matter because frankly, i like dressing up like a princess, but what goes on in your mind matters a lot too. If looks only matter, then tell me, why are mad people sent to an asylum, and scorned by others? Thats because they're not like them, which goes in a round to say that we do treasure our ability to think. Get it? People say, "if we can't, or are unwilling to use our minds, then we're no different from animals." But if you use your brain, we are animals. And animals use their brains. How do you think they get on with their lives? Eating needs brain cells, you know how easily you can choke. And all the instincts, they require the usage of the mind. And if we don't treasure what we're given, then we have no right, to tell others.
Sorry, i went off point. When i read, it sort of makes me go into this deep thinking state where i try to link everything in the world together. I didn't make sense right? What was my main point again? Ah, yes. Words are powerful, and i can't stand anyone who scorns it. It is a beautiful thing, and we need it in our lives. When you ponder over stuff, you use words right? You don't think with pictures. Thats called remembering. If you realized.